Three months after the baby was born, I developed symptoms that sent me to the doctor. I found out that I had a sexually transmitted disease. I was perplexed. Later, a phone bill came, and an expensive number was recurrent on it.  I called it only to discover it was a number for phone sex!  My husband had previously had a problem with pornography before he came to the Lord, but we rejoiced at what the Lord had done in his life since. Now this? I went over previous phone bills and found similar numbers on them.  On the credit card bill, which we were aggressively trying to pay off, were new charges for phone and Internet sex.  I checked the history on the computer and discovered lots of pornography.  I felt ill.

Being a Christian, I decided that the right thing to do would be to go to my pastor for advice.  When presented with the evidence, my pastor looked at me and said, "Do you need the name of a lawyer?"  I stared at him in disbelief.  He continued, "You have grounds, you know..."

I left the office. I believe my pastor meant well, but simply didn't know how to respond. I also sought the advice of an older woman at the church, only to receive more of the same advice. Soon, however, it seemed like everyone knew about the situation, and most people treated me like a woman about to be divorced, pitying me, and offering jobs, welfare tips, apartment leads, and the like.  And all of them said, "Oh, if only you didn't have all those children.”  The reaction of everyone about me being pregnant with Isobel was bad enough, but knowing that I was submitted to God in this area with "that" sort of husband made me look like a fool! 

I went to a counselor who suggested my modest dress might have caused my husband to stray, and then told me that I was allowing myself to be blackmailed into accepting his bad behavior by being a stay-at-home mother with no means of financially supporting myself!