Diabetes

January 1994 hit us with the force of an earthquake. Plus we were facing serious traumas in our family life. Already in an emotionally and physically weakened state, and still nursing our 22 month old, I thought nothing of my missed period in March but continued to feel sick. My annual physical exam in April confirmed that I was pregnant with our seventh child.

Because of my previous history of gestational diabetes and my age (42), a screening Glucose Tolerance Test (GTT) was done right away. I was barely eight weeks pregnant and the GTT came back positive for diabetes. It was unusual for gestational diabetes to show up so soon, so the doctor was unsure whether the diabetes was gestational or present, but undiagnosed before I conceived.

Gestational diabetes was not diagnosed until the seventh month of my sixth pregnancy and was controlled with the diabetic diet which I chose to remain on even after delivery. I was very disappointed that my efforts to continue with a strict diet did not improve my condition and in May, I was hospitalized to begin insulin therapy. This was a source of daily frustration as I had to monitor my blood sugar four times a day and learn to maintain a balance between diet, exercise and two injections of insulin a day.

To make matters worse, the alpha-fetal protein test showed some abnormal values and my doctor suggested that I have amniocentesis done to determine if the baby had Downs Syndrome. I declined because there is also a chance that the procedure itself may negatively effect the outcome of the pregnancy.

Although we were trusting the Lord for the baby's and my health, I spent almost the entire nine months struggling with all the reasons why this pregnancy should definitely be our last.

I was too sick, too old, my health too fragile, sky rocketing medical bills were causing financial hardship, our oldest was getting ready to graduate from college, and the trauma our entire family experienced because of a rebellious teenager caused me to become very depressed and feel like a failure as a parent. I certainly was not ecstatic about bringing any more children into the world. I had every good reason I could think of to get my tubes tied after the birth of this baby.

And yet, there was the still small voice of God as He whispered to my heart, "Children are a blessing....happy is the man that has his quiver full."

"But, Lord," I cried, "My quiver is already full and, by the way, Lord, isn't seven the symbolic number of fullness? Why, I've gone above and beyond the call of duty in the ranks of motherhood. I've got more and better reasons than any woman I know for having my tubes tied. Most get it done after two or three! Why can't I have it done too? Surely it would be in your permissive will, wouldn't it, Lord?" But still I had no peace in my heart.

"I'll make a deal with you, Lord," I prayed. "If I have this baby by c-section, then I'll take it as a sign from you that its okay to go ahead and have my tubes tied right there on the operating table. I'll already be opened up! Just think how easy it would be for the doctor to do it!"

The Lord reminded me of Romans 12:1, "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, w which is your reasonable service."

"But, Lord," I continued arguing, "Aren't we supposed to use common sense in these matters? Another pregnancy could kill me! Surely you didn't have mothers in mind when you said, they loved not their lives unto death."? On the other hand I was reminded of my calling. .Mothers are simply missionaries trying to raise children for Jesus. If my approach to motherhood with missionary zeal means I must also choose a path of suffering, then, as Queen Esther said, "If I perish, I perish!" What better way to go than to put yourself totally into the hands of a loving Heavenly Father?

Jim Elliot, the 20th century a martyr, said in reference to his life, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose." So it is with mothers. In choosing to give the gift of life, we gain by cooperating with God in raising up a godly seed, an eternal soul.

I am not so naive as to believe all we have to do is to have a house full of children and they will automatically grow up to become soldiers for Christ. Life is not easy. We cannot deny the fact that Christians are at war in this world and the children we welcome as gifts from God, the same ones we love, nurture and pour out whole lives into, are free-willed agents who may choose not to become a part of His army.

There are no guarantees in life. But, I am saying that if we live a life of faith in regard to our family size, there is enormous potential for God to use one or all of our 'arrows' as weapons of spiritual warfare. We have God's Word that promises us that if we train our children in they way they should go, they will not depart. As long as there is life, there is hope. You must have hope to have life, but you must have life to have hope!

I am happy to report that, in spite of an intensely difficult pregnancy and 15 hour labor, on Veteran's Day, November 11, 1994, I gave birth to our 8lbs 2 1/2 oz baby girl - Mariah-Katherine Hope is not only perfectly healthy but absolutely adorable too!

I have not been sterilized and when people ask if this is our last baby, I can say in all honesty, that we gave given that decision to God. And I don't have diabetes! The last GTT was normal. Praise God for His faithfulness!

SHERRY BRAGG
Lexington, North Carolina, USA.

Dennis and Sherry's children are: Nathan, Joshua, Micah, Elisa-Beth, Julilanna, Timothy and Mariah.