Related Articles : Birth

Motherhood Bliss!

Before I was married, I didn’t know much about parenting (my own family was abusive), and I knew even less about God. When our son was born, I fell in love with him instantly! Thankfully, I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and decided to try nursing, even though I had never seen it done before.

The only real ‘mothering’ experience I had was from babysitting a baby years ago. He had been formula-fed and was on a strict schedule, spending most of his time alone. What I remembered most about him was the awful way he would cry alone in the crib as I waited for him to fall asleep.

Soon every thought of returning to college left my mind as I held, nursed and carried my baby. I didn’t want to be away from him, and of course, he was happiest right next to me. He came everywhere with me and rarely ever left my arms. All I had to do was nurse him when he was fussy or tired and change him when he needed it. He loved to sleep with my husband and me.

When he was six weeks old I attended my first La Leche League meeting. I learned so much. I read studies that proved doing things naturally, such as breastfeeding on cue, was beneficial to both mom and baby.

I learned that carrying my baby provided him with better social development. I even learned that crib death is less common when babies sleep with their moms, and how doctors believe that the mom’s body acts as a pace-maker for her baby’s immature system. I was fascinated! I also met a wonderful Christian mom at LLL, who began planting seeds about God in my heart.

Two years later, my young son had a night where he couldn’t sleep. I sat up with him as my new baby daughter slept in bed with my husband. Suddenly I remembered a much neglected Gideon’s Bible that had been given to me years ago. The next few hours flew by as I devoured the precious words.

With my sleeping son by my side, I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. Just a few months later, my husband and I were both baptized in a local lake and started our new life together. God lovingly cared for me, His child, as I lovingly cared for my child.

Now that I knew God, the more I thought about mothering, the more excited I became. I realized the reason natural mothering works so well is because God designed it!

In the same way God designed our bodies to give birth naturally, He designed us to mother naturally. I felt like I had stumbled upon some ancient mystery, and I knew the reason behind all those happy babies and children at the LLL meetings. Whether their parents knew God or not, they were raising their babies according to His design and received the blessings for following His plan!

Isaiah 66:11-13 says, “For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the LORD says: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.’” (Emphasis added).

As a new Christian, I would sit with my new baby daughter for hours reading the Bible. I learned that God can use the Bible to teach us, not just with its words, but also by the people within its pages. As a mother, two of my favorite examples are Eve and Mary. Who better to look to as we mother our own children but “The mother of all living” and the mother of Christ himself?

God gave Eve everything she needed to do her job perfectly--breasts to nourish and comfort, arms to hold, a soft body to keep her little one warm at night, a voice to sing and teach, motherly instincts, and a loving heart. She lacked nothing.

I can envision her carrying her baby throughout the day, and the new family sleeping all curled up together at night, just as God intended. A beautiful picture of simplicity and love.

I love to think of Mary. All God does is good. He didn’t only choose a family for Jesus. He also chose a time and culture. God could have decided to send Jesus anytime, even today!

Could you see Jesus as a child in the schools today, riding the bus and playing video games? Or as a baby in His crib with a blankie, Mary hardening her heart as He “cried it out”? God had something much different in mind. He placed His son in a culture where every birth was natural, where moms kept their children close during the day, and where children nursed for years.      

Just like Eve, Mary had no clocks for feeding schedules, no bottles, no separate sleeping room for her baby, and no “experts” writing books claiming to have a better way to raise her baby. They listened to the one true Expert, our Lord Himself! I believe both mothers did what came naturally, following their God-given instincts and mothers’ hearts. They did not harden their hearts to their babies’ cries.

The Bible talks about the peacock who is deprived of wisdom and understanding because she is “hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers.” (Job 36:13-17)

Then there is Jesus Himself. In Luke 6:31 He tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Matthew 18:33, He said, “Shouldest not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” Jesus wants us to put other’s needs above our own.

In Matthew 25:35-45, He says, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing... And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.”

Who is the “least of these” more than a helpless baby or child? When He said to give a drink to the thirsty, certainly He includes our own baby, when he/she cries out for it.

God wants us to love our children the same way He loves us, and not forsake them in their time of helplessness. Listen to what the Bible says in Isaiah 49:15, “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” I will have to answer to God someday about how I cared for the “least of these” in my own home when they were in need. I want to be sure I did my best for Him.   

We live in a modern world, but this neither changes God’s design nor alters God’s best. God never changes. By mothering this way, I teach my children about God. I show them every moment how God is always available for us, how He does not abandon us when we need Him.

Just as we are dependant on God, God made babies dependant on us. We should seek to live out 1 Thessalonians 2:7, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”

Natural mothering is filled with all kinds of joy! I love the peace of falling asleep at night with my tiny nursing baby on one side and my husband’s strong arm wrapped around both of us. What better alarm clock in the morning, than a cooing baby who pats your cheek and squeals with delight when you open your eyes and look at him?

There is nothing like having your baby in your arms (or your sling) all day, always in your world, always learning and enjoying your closeness--and you don’t miss a smile or a laugh!

I have given birth four times so far. I admit that each time I have been very afraid of the pain as I tend to have very fast, intense births. So far, each birth I have placed my trust in something different. The first time, I trusted in man’s way which caused only pain and human intervention. All sorts of unnecessary machines and gadgets were used.

My second birth came, and this time I was sure I was prepared. I had read all the so-called “right” books, and had all the “knowledge” I needed. I was even at home--and in the water this time! Although it was a beautiful birth, it was only man’s knowledge, and the birth was still extremely painful. We need more than man’s small knowledge to birth and mother!

The third time I was again at home—and in the water. I read a book by a Christian author who said she had the right way to birth, if I would only follow her method. You guessed it. Another good but very painful birth. The baby was just over ten pounds, a lot to handle for my small frame!

As much as I wanted my fourth baby, I was afraid to go through the pain again. I turned whole-heartedly to the only place I had left. I turned to Jesus and things changed for me. I prayed more for this birth and new baby than any of the others, and depended only on Jesus. It worked!

When I heard my midwife say my baby was out, my first thought was “That was it?” It hurt, of course, but by depending on Jesus, for the first time it was completely and totally bearable and better than it had ever been before!

Like all of our homebirthed babies, he didn’t cry, and was happy, pink and alert. But unlike our other babies, this little one has not cried to this day! He has never had a tear in his eye. He is four months old now, and the most joyful baby we have ever had, full of smiles and laughs.

He has been in someone’s arms almost every single moment of his life. He baths in the big tub with me and sleeps skin-to-skin with me at night. He nurses when he needs to, and naps as I carry him through my day. We are totally connected. I have truly never been happier, nor had a happier baby!

God’s Word applies to all of life, including our mothering. We need to mother with what God gave us--love, our mother’s heart, our biology, our God-given instincts, and our baby’s signals. We need to stop listening to the many voices of the world and start listening to the only voice that matters.

God’s way is about the heart, the connectedness between moms and babies, rather than rules, so-called experts, and schedules. God’s way is about people, relationships, and love rather than outward things. Babies’ needs haven’t changed since the beginning of time, and neither has God.

AMIE GRAY    

Onalaska, Washington, USA

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Don and Amie have four children, Brodie (7), Hannah (5), Aden (2) and baby Elijah (4 months).

 

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When Is Your Family Complete?

A woman posed this request: “I was just wondering how others decided that their family was complete and you finished having any more babies.”

After having three babies in less than four years (no twins!) I felt pretty “complete” and was not at all interested in being pregnant again any time soon. I was also in a season of struggle, fighting depression, failing in my roles as wife and mother, thoughts of suicide, life in a new area far from friends, family, or support systems, overweight and unhealthy.

I also had a list of other things that I felt were more important that I couldn’t do while pregnant or dragging infants and small children around all the time. In a way, I felt like I was compromising my health and wasting my life away by being pregnant and nursing all the time.  What about Quality vs. Quantity?

I approached the marriage bed with panic for fear of getting pregnant again. We tried barrier contraception but it caused me a lot of pain. Other methods were not an option, especially since I was still nursing and hadn’t had my return of cycles yet.  In lieu of abstinence I cried out to God for a solution, “Lord!  Please help us! What contraception should we use!?” 

He answered, “Trust Me.” That was not the answer I wanted. The last time I trusted God I got pregnant right away, and I wasn’t interested in being tricked into that again. I griped back to the Lord, “Aren’t my reasons good enough for You?”  But who am I to argue with God?  After some deliberation I decided to trust Him again and do nothing to prevent a pregnancy.

After my first two babies were born I got my cycles back when they were three months old.  Imagine my delight when five months had passed and I still wasn’t menstruating or pregnant!  My period came back at six months and seven months and I was rejoicing! 

It sure was worth it to trust the Lord!  I celebrated by taking a late Spring excursion to an amusement park to ride roller coasters all day while I still had the chance. I was supposed to get my period that day, but it never came. Two days later I took a home test and found out I was pregnant again.

I was so mad!  Shaking my fist at the Lord I yelled, "You told me to trust You, and I DID! Now look what You've done! Why do You insist on keeping me down and miserable? You are NOT the God I thought You were!"

No He wasn't! So tell me, who's problem is that?

As evil as it sounds, and as evil as it truly is, deep down inside I was half hoping for a miscarriage. I felt horrible, my life was a mess, I hated everything and everyone, I was seeing a counselor, my circumstances only got worse, and I just wanted to end it all!

But as I went along I accepted my pregnancy and dealt with it, holding on to the only shred of truth that I could: that God told me to trust Him, and I obeyed. Somehow He is going to work it out. He has to!  There’s no other hope!

As the months progressed I pondered all that I had learned but not yet accepted. It says in the Bible, "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior so are the children of one's youth. Happy is he who's quiver is full of them." I was sitting with a group of ladies one day discussing birth control--one with a vasectomized husband, no family size larger than three children. The agreement was that their quiver was full for them.

"Six children might be a full quiver for you. My fill line is at three!"

I piped up and said, "Well, if I were out in the woods when suddenly surrounded by a violent grizzly bear four times my size ready to eat me up in one gulp, I would want more than three arrows in my quiver to fight him off. In fact, I'd want as many as I could get!"

I know many older families who stopped at three children because they decided their family was complete with that many. Three beautiful young adults, all in a row, praising the Lord, standing up against abortion, encouraging youth, and doing mighty things for Jesus. If they hadn't stopped at three there could have been twice, or maybe even three times the amount of children in their family added to the Army of God.

When the next generation of children rises up to run my country and make decisions on my behalf, and on behalf of my children, grandchildren, and so on—a generation of God-less, self- indulgent, misdirected, unloved, spoiled rotten, traumatized, numb, lazy, video-gaming, immature, fatherless children with little sense of moral obligation—how many God-fearing, Christian young adults would I want to balance it out?

Should I contribute only three, stop there, and then carry on with my life of vanity and grasping for the wind? Or should I look beyond my limited, present view, and make an investment into the future of generations that will follow after me?

The Lord said: Lean not on your own understanding. Once I finally laid aside what I thought was right for me, He had opportunity to put in what was right according to Him!

Now I hug my tummy and bless the Lord for this pregnancy. I sure wasn't thanking Him the first four months! But I was obedient. And in the end I'm so thankful I didn't make the mistake of ending it all (not just my life, but the lives of future children).

In the heat of hopelessness, we make very unwise choices. They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength!

Did the United States only train up 1,000 soldiers? Or did we not become the strongest military in the world, with hundreds of thousands of able men? As a military family I see where our military is going from an insider's perspective.

Even the military is buying in to “Sangerism” by scrapping ships, shutting down military bases, selling off their military housing to private management, and even paying some servicemen to leave to downsize areas that seem too full. All this in the name of “saving money.” But the military is birth-controlling and aborting itself into weakness. And so is God's church.

After sharing my testimony with the woman who asked for personal experience, in closing I said: So that's my story about me deciding when my family was complete! Probably not exactly what you were hoping to hear. Join the club!

ANGELA SUNDARAMURTHY

  
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Rivers Of Joy

When I was born, my parents gave me the middle name Anandi which means joy in one of India's many languages. This name has proven to be prophetic in my life. I have always been naturally cheerful and I began to know true joy when I gave my life to Jesus Christ at age 15. I grew up with a wonderful dad and a loving and devoted mom.  

I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a wife and mother. However, I had an extreme fear of the pain of childbirth. I don't really know where I picked that up since my mom gave birth to me at home and always told me it was the best day of her life. She hoped that one day my sister and I would also have homebirths. I used to upset her by telling her I wanted to be completely knocked out when I gave birth. I was so afraid of childbirth, I even tossed around the idea of never having any birth children but only adopting..

However, as I grew in my relationship with God, my thinking began to change. I learned what the Bible had to say about children being a blessing and about God not wanting us to live in fear.

When I was 19, I traveled on a missionary trip to India where I had the privilege of serving in a orphanage and performing dramas about Jesus on the streets. I had given up dating in high school after a painful breakup and vowed to wait for God to bring the man I was to marry into my life. I had even made a list of things I wanted in a husband and prayed over it.

I wasn't looking to find him on this mission trip (romantic relationships were not allowed since we were almost all teenagers.) But three days into the trip I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this blond guy from Colorado who loved God and children as much as I did.    I also knew it was going to be a long wait since he was only 16. Wow! Two amazing years of friendship and one beautiful year of courtship later, we were married.     

During our courtship I began to research different kinds of birth control. Even though I knew I wanted to have children, I was sure I didn't want them right away.

Was I shocked when I found out that the birth control pills I had planned to take had the  potential to cause early abortions. I was pro-life; therefore these pills were no longer an option for me. When I shared my concerns with my fiancé, he was amazingly supportive. He always knew he wanted a big family as well.

We took a few classes on Natural Family Planning, but ultimately decided to trust God to plan our family. We were scolded by well meaning family who were afraid we were too young and too poor to have a baby right away. We held our ground.

Lo and behold, a year passed and no baby. We weren't too concerned about it at that point. We enjoyed our first year of marriage and I busied myself caring for babies at a  daycare. A year and 1/2 passed. I was sure I would get pregnant soon. We took Bible College classes and went on our second missionary trip to India. Two and a half years passed and still no baby!

Now, family and friends were concerned for a different reason. I politely told people, that yes, we were trying, and no, we didn't feel we were to see a doctor about it. We were simply trusting God.

I began to learn more about nutrition and we both started taking better care of ourselves. We took a job as assistant house parents at a Christian ranch for troubled teen girls. I loved living with "my girls" and home schooling them. More than ever that I wanted to be a mom.

Three years passed. Now I was starting to get a little concerned. It was during this time I had a dream I will never forget. I was holding an adorable baby I had never seen before. The baby looked me in the eyes and said (even though it should have been too young to talk) that I was soon going to have a baby named Joy.

I woke up and wrote the dream in my journal thinking it was possibly from the Lord.

I also began to pray specifically for the Lord to bless us with a baby the following September. Three and 1/2 years passed. We were two weeks away from traveling to Australia to take music classes and play in a missionary band when I found out I was pregnant!

I spent my pregnancy traveling in Australia, singing and talking about Jesus in everything from bars to schools to churches. We then came back to the States to prepare for the birth.

On August 16th, after four years of marriage, our first son was born at home! He was perfectly healthy and had lots of red hair. We named him Rivers Chairo which means rivers full of joy--Chairo is Greek for "full of joy, delight, or gladness". He is now eight months old and lives up to his name everyday! He is the joy of our lives. We are now starting the process to adopt a brother for Rivers from Liberia.

KRIYA HERZOG

Helena, Montana,  USA                                        

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Pregnancy and Kidney Stones

“Well, Mrs. Lloyd, if you are going to refuse to have an abortion, you might as well go back to class. There’s nothing we can do. The bleeding indicates you will eventually miscarry the fetus.” I ran out of the university health clinic with tears streaming down my face. My husband met me in the hall and held me for several long minutes. The year was 1985. I was only 20 years old and he, 22. We were both still in college. We had been married for less than six months, and already, we were facing the possible death of our first baby.

 Our story actually began in 1984. I was a new Christian; Mike had been a Christian since the age of eight. We were attending the same college, he  with the hopes of being drafted by a professional baseball team. When we met, we were both very independent, strong-willed people. But, even early in our relationship, we sought to make Christ the center of our lives.

Mike and I got engaged and made plans for our wedding day. Part of those preparations was deciding which kind of birth control we should use. On the first visit to my hometown OB/GYN, I was told I probably would have a very difficult time getting pregnant, because since age 13, I only had my menstrual cycle about once a year. The doctor never determined the cause of my missed periods, but recommended fertility pills in order to bring on my cycle, a necessity for getting started on the birth control medicine.

Even as a new Christian, I did not feel comfortable taking medication and tampering with my body’s chemistry. Late that night I prayed to Jesus to intervene and let me get my cycle naturally. It had been over a year, but miraculously, the next day, I started my period. My first major prayer of faith had been answered and I threw away the fertility pills.

With only a few months left before marriage, I began taking the birth control pills. I did not like the idea, but I had been so conditioned into thinking that pregnancy was something to avoid, that I saw no alternative. Our wedding day arrived and not long afterwards, Mike’s grandfather began telling us he wanted a grandson. “How dare he?” I thought. “We just got married. I’m not ready for children yet.”

The next thing I knew, I began spotting. I thought I might be pregnant, so I immediately stopped taking the Pill. I had heard that if you take birth control while you are pregnant, it could cause deformities in the baby. A pregnancy test proved negative, but I decided not to take any more of the drug. I did not like the way it made me feel and besides, hadn’t the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t get pregnant anyway?

The very next month, I conceived. I was in shock. The OB/GYN said it was probably because my body released multiple eggs when I first got off the Pill, and I most likely would never get pregnant again. Shortly after conceiving, I began to bleed heavily. My first visit to the university health clinic was when the doctor told me I should either terminate the pregnancy or face an inevitable miscarriage. No other advice. No compassion. Abortion or miscarriage.

Thankfully, even though we didn’t have health insurance at the time, my husband took me to a doctor in his hometown. He was an older gentleman, obviously pro-life, who told me to take off school for two weeks and rest in bed. He wasn’t sure if I had lost a twin or if I had an elevated chorion, but he believed I could deliver my baby full term if I was careful. Soon, the bleeding stopped.

Then at about 27 week’s gestation, I experienced a gnawing pain in my left flank. The burning, stabbing spasms came and went in waves. My nurse read my chart and feared the worst. She hooked me up to a monitor and asked me if I was in labor. How should I know? I’d never had a baby before. Eventually the spasms stopped and I was released. The rest of my pregnancy went smoothly and several months later, the Lord gave us a healthy baby boy, whom we named Michael.

After delivering Michael, I figured there was no need to try to prevent another pregnancy, as the doctor said the first one was a freak accident. Eleven months passed and, as usual, I did not experience any menstrual periods. I did, however, begin to experience morning sickness. Amazingly, without even having a monthly cycle, I was pregnant again with our second child.

Within the hour of arriving home from the hospital with our new little bundle, I was once again writhing in excruciating back pain, the same stabbing spasms I had experienced with Michael. I could not even walk down the stairs, so Mike carried me to the car and we rushed back to the hospital. This time, the cause was determined. I had a large kidney stone in my left ureter which blocked my kidney from draining. Surgery ensued and a slow recovery, but eventually I healed from both the kidney stone attack and usual postpartum pains.

It was about this time the Lord began to change my views about the whole idea of birth control. A lady gave me a book by Mary Pride called The Way Home which opened up the Scriptures to me.  I remember vividly the day in 1988 when I became convicted to surrender our ideas about “family planning” and allow God to give us children in His perfect time. I was also convinced that we should home educate the children the Lord would give us in order to nurture and train them in His ways.

 I knew my husband, however, and I knew it would take a small miracle for him to accept these “radical” ideas. Amazingly, when he came home from work that day in 1988, and I shared with him all I had been learning from the Scriptures, Mike replied simply and confidently, “Yes, I agree.” (I didn’t know that he, too, had been reading Mary Pride’s book!)  

I wish I could say that we never doubted and all was smooth sailing from that point on. There were many difficult trials ahead. In less than a year’s time, I was pregnant with our third child. With a few month’s left in the pregnancy, I developed another kidney stone that lodged in my right ureter. My kidney swelled like a balloon. The pain was unbelievable.

At the hospital, I could not even speak, only vomit and moan. I remember turning from side to side in the bed all night long pleading with God for mercy. The doctor could not remove the stone due to the pregnancy. Instead, he inserted a stent extending from my kidney to my bladder around the stone to allow partial drainage.

I lay on the couch in constant pain for the remaining months of that pregnancy with a one and a two year old running around the house. The verse that kept coming to mind was Romans 12:1, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Those days were real faith stretchers.

I struggled with tremendous fear about all kinds of things during this time of weakness. Most involved the idea of giving up complete control of my life and my children’s lives to God.  I was still a young Christian and was very concerned about being socially accepted. I was painfully aware that living a truly dedicated, Christ-centered life meant losing popularity with the world.

The Lord kept reminding me of the verse, “Be ye not conformed to the image of this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God,” (Romans 12:2). Slowly, the Lord changed the desires of my heart and I realized that the world’s riches paled in comparison to the spiritual and eternal rewards that God had in store for our family if only we would serve Him faithfully.

As the years have passed, the Lord has continued to bless us with a new baby about every year and a half. Although He has been gracious to give me “easy deliveries”, I have experienced at least one kidney stone attack before, during or after every pregnancy. With two of the babies, I passed over 30 stones and during my tenth pregnancy, I had a severe blockage from a stone and had to have another stent placed in my ureter.

Over 21 years, I have undergone multiple lithotripsies, ureteroscopies, cystocopies and stent placements to treat kidney stones. I have had four different urologists, an endocrinologist and a nephrologist consider my case. I have also tried natural remedies, herbs, kidney cleansing, diet changes, massage therapies, chiropractics, reflexology, anointing, fasting and much fervent prayer. All in all, I have passed over 100 stones with much pain and suffering.

Although I have had multiple tests done to determine the cause of my kidney stones over the years, all results have been inconclusive until recently. This summer, after the birth of our twelfth baby, I underwent six high-risk surgeries to remove five ureteral stones. Several were impacted in the tissue and were causing kidney blockage, dilation and damage.

During this ordeal, my urologist ordered a new set of tests from a different lab. Finally, an abnormality in my body chemistry was detected. I have a citrate deficiency and a high pH level in my urine. I am now taking a mineral supplement called Urocit-K which has proven to get my citrate levels back in check. We are praying this treatment will prevent further problems.

Whether I am cured from kidney stone trouble is yet to be seen. Nonetheless, I have come to accept my kidney stones as simply “thorns in the flesh” which the Lord uses to keep me dependent on His strength, not my own. I know in my heart that the painful testing periods over the last two decades have developed my faith and perseverance.

God tells us in James 1:3-6, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

I have also learned that whether it is a physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or marital problem that our family faces, the Lord is faithful to solve it if we humble ourselves, pray, search the Scriptures and submit our wills to Him.

Whenever I am at “my wits end,” I know that it is only because I am trying to control a situation in my own strength and not relying on God’s wisdom and power. The words of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths,” give us comfort when Satan’s hurls his attacks. We praise the Lord for His mercy and grace and give Him all the glory for the work He is accomplishing in us.

SUE LLOYD

Moore, South Carolina, USA

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God has blessed Mike and Sue with 12 children--Michael, Jr.(20), Mary Beth (19), Mandy (18), Isaac (16), Abby (14), Matt (12), Becky (11), Timmy (8), Sarah (7), Sam (4), Anne (3) and Chloe (1).

 

 

 

 

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Will he know the Difference?

“Will he know the difference?” he asked. “Please don’t tell him, Mommy.”     

It was a precious moment. My 11 year old son, Isaiah, and Shepherd Colin, our little miracle baby (born at 33 weeks gestation) and I were sitting on the oversized rocking chair together, staring at our beautiful new gift of life. All the ten children had loved seeing the baby grow in my tummy and reveled in the times when they saw him kicking and rolling around. It was enshrouded in mystery. We didn’t find out the gender of our baby until he was born as the children enjoyed the competition between the two teams. We had five girls and five boys and the new arrival would be the makings of the winning team.

It was amazing to think that this was the darling baby we had grown to love and anticipate during my pregnancy. We were both enraptured with Shepherd’s gorgeous little face when Isaiah said something that caught me off guard.

“Is he going to know, Mommy?”

“Know what?” I asked.

“Are you going to tell him, Mommy?”

“Tell him what?” I said. He was so earnest with his questions. He kept enquiring and didn’t answer mine.

“But will he know the difference?” he asked again.

“What difference?” He still didn’t answer but kept talking, taken up with the notions turning in his head.

“Maybe, Mommy, he won’t notice, because I have always been here since he came into the world.”  I started to see through the fog of what was on his mind.

“Mommy, where will he think that I get my dark skin? He continued questioning.

“He will think you got your beautiful dark skin the same place he got his light skin--from God and the heart of His creativity. It is boring for everyone to be the same as one another. I am so glad we have different colors in our family because God has different colors amongst His children.”

Isaiah had told me in the past that he did not like the word “adoption” when referring to himself. It made him feel too new and different. I now knew exactly what was on his mind.

“Isaiah,” I said, “I don’t see any difference between you and baby Shep. You may look different, but that is the fun part. Vision looks nothing like Mommy or Daddy with his flaming red hair, green eyes and turned up nose. I don’t love my children because they look like me. I love them because they are mine. Whether you became mine by adoption or pregnancy doesn’t matter to me. Adoption and pregnancy are just words, words that have the same outcome, words for the way you arrived and became mine. Whether someone took the bus, rode in a car, went by ship or flew in a plane—it’s all minor transportation details.

“Isaiah, before the beginning of time, God planned for you to be my precious child, to love, train and hold in my heart forever. He decided this for Shepherd too. You are both equally mine and equally adored. Whether you grew in my tummy or inside my heart, it doesn’t matter to me.

“Shepherd grew in my womb for almost nine months but you grew in my heart for nine months. To get you here in my arms was a long and rocky process. My daily thoughts were weaved with longing prayers for you. My heart swelled, grew and beat for you. My heart was pregnant with you. It held a bulging love that kept growing until it burst open and the dream of you became a reality when I first saw your face. All that matters to me is that you are mine. All eleven of my beautiful gifts from God are equally anticipated and celebrated. God wrapped some of you up differently. But the wrapping doesn’t matter, does it? It is the gift you care about.

“To answer your question, Baby Shep will know no difference. He will only know that he has a cool, good-looking muscularly African brother that he will look up to and want to be like. The fact that you were adopted, Isaiah, is a minor detail.”    

Isaiah gave the baby a gentle, but fervent hug, and ran off to play with a new spring in his step and the excitement of a new brother to love.

When I am grocery shopping, or out and about in town, and a well-meaning on-looker sees my crowd trailing behind and ask if I run a youth group or am a nanny of many, I say, “No, these are all my children.”

Sometimes they ask, “But which ones are really yours? I am sure you know my answer, “They are all mine, and there is no difference.”

SERENE ALLISON

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

    

 

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My Journey Of Infertility

Month after month I sobbed on the bathroom floor. “Why, why, why?” was all I could ask. I poured out my heart to God, begging Him for answers that only He could give. I pleaded and wailed, made bargains and asked questions. There were no answers, no revelations from God…only quietness.

I had just started my cycle, as I had like clockwork for the past eleven years. My husband held me as I cried. He had no answers either.

Everything reminded me that I could not conceive. I would go to the store and see only bubbly infants cooing to their mommas. Maternity clothes beckoned at me from the racks, knowing that I could not buy them again this month. The infant section was not an area I could go into without crying. I skipped the diaper and baby food isles at the grocery store.

It was no easier at church. Most of my friends and family members were expecting. People made suggestions and comments that broke my heart and sent me spiraling into a dark depression.  “Just let go and let God…give it to Him.”  “Why don’t you adopt?” “You should be thankful for the two children you already have instead of fretting over the ones you can’t have.”

Why didn’t anyone care about me and the hurt I was feeling? Why couldn’t they be a bit more sensitive with their words? Why wasn’t anyone reaching out to me? I was allowing my inability to conceive to rule my life and emotions, affecting all the relationships around me. Sadly, this infertility was a product of my own doing, which only added to my depression.

I fell in “love” in 1991 with a cute boy in my class, Joel. Not long after we started dating I became pregnant. Devastated, we considered abortion. After a series of miraculous events I was not able to abort this baby. I delivered Dakota in October 1992, got married February 1995 and later gave birth to Kennedy in November 1995. Both these children were born before I was 19 years old.

I had never planned on having children. I started college part time and began seeking employment. My husband joined the military and we moved overseas. Because the military was paying for it and others recommended it, we joined the ranks of many who cut off their fertility willingly by having a vasectomy. That was 1996. I enjoyed the freedom the sterilization offered us by not having to worry about an “accident” each month. My husband and I were just 19 years old at the time.     

Several years later, we moved back to the United States. A neighbor invited us to a drama at her church. We attended and, that night, both my husband and I gave our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ. We promptly found a church and began serving in any capacity we could.

I began to long for more children. I begged the Lord for a miracle. I pleaded with God, reminding Him that we had no knowledge of Him when we had the vasectomy, so why should we be held accountable for something we did in such ignorance? I cried and looked for answers to my problem. I soon heard of a procedure that reversed the vasectomy resulting in restoring fertility to a couple. I was elated! I begged my husband to check into it. He did. The base where we were stationed did reversals. Praise God! My husband had the necessary medical appointments and put his name on the waiting list.

Months later, after waiting what seemed to be an eternity, we checked with the hospital to see where we were on the list. A mistake had taken place and we were never on the list in the first place. Crushed, I asked my husband to start over, but he had received orders sending us back overseas.    

God worked mightily. In 2002, Joel was able to have the reversal done in a military hospital in Europe. Each detail was orchestrated by God alone. This reversal gave me hope. I was sure we would be expecting a baby shortly.  How could we not after such a moving of the Lord on our behalf? I bought an armload of maternity clothes, knowing I would need them soon.

Month after month went by with no positive pregnancy tests. My heart plummeted into depression. Wasn’t I being obedient? If so, why wasn’t God blessing? Where was this baby I was sure we would have? Why wasn’t God answering my prayers? I reached out to other women who were suffering with infertility. I found comfort in knowing I was not alone, but none of us could really give the other what we so desired--a baby.

My husband had testing done. We discovered that the reversal was unsuccessful and we would not be able to conceive. I still prayed and asked the Lord to change the outcome. Almost four years went by as I charted temperatures, using ovulation predictor kits--and praying. Months went by. They turned into years.

In the beginning of 2006, upon returning to the United States, we decided to have the reversal done again. Once again I felt hopeful. Six months flew by and we still had not conceived. This time I started to feel peace in whatever the Lord was doing in our lives. I began to see the two children I had as blessings and slowly began letting go of the dream I had for more children. I realized that I needed to adjust my desires to God’s desires, rather than manipulating Him into letting me have my way. Sure, I still wanted to get pregnant, but I was willing to give up what I wanted and embrace what God wanted, which was much better anyway.

Slowly, my heart turned towards the subject of adoption. This was not an option for me before. My husband and children were ready to adopt, but I was holding back, hoping against hope that I could get pregnant. I began reading stories of families who adopted successfully. Ever so quietly, God prepared my heart to accept another woman’s child as my own.

My husband and I called an adoption counselor and began the process. Homestudy, applications, profiles--they filled my world for a short period of time. I had gone from being disinterested in the adoption process to wholeheartedly excited and ready to bring a baby into our home!

All I could think of was the baby God would bless us with through adoption. Three months almost to the day, after meeting our adoption counselor, we brought Isabella into our lives. I was at the hospital the day she was born. I met her birthmother and thanked her for choosing to give life and blessing me with her child. I assured her that Isabella would be taken care of and loved. The birthmother held onto the sweet little bundle for a time and then asked me if I would like to hold her. My heart skipped a beat. I accepted the little girl into my arms and my heart. Two days later, Isabella was released from the hospital to me.

As I look at my precious daughter, I realize this was the baby that I spent years praying for. This was the child God had in mind for me. I can thank and praise God for my years of infertility, for without them I would not have adopted this sweet child. Infertility has allowed me the chance to see God working in my life. As the song says, how can I know God can solve my problems if I never have them? I have witnessed Romans 8:28 in action, seeing God work good from all things, including my mistakes.

Do I still hope to conceive another child? Of course I do. However, I have decided to embrace the gifts God gives me, even if they are not wrapped and delivered in the manner I want them to be.

JESSICA DECKER

Sanford, North Carolina, USA

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Joel and Jessica’s children are Dakota, Kennedy and Isabella.  

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Double Blessings Keep Happening

I would like to introduce to you my friend, Patty Kohl. We have been friends for 18 years or so. We both lived in Illinois. About 15 years ago she and her husband, Barry, moved to Kentucky and finally settled in Tennessee. We missed them dearly and our phone bills showed it. I believe the Lord puts special friends in our path for reasons far beyond our understanding.

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Don't Need To Fear

After my miscarriage, I conceived three months later. I was so happy, but completely overwhelmed with fear. I was paralyzed. I didn’t want to move in case I lost the baby. I was so afraid of losing another baby.  In a desperate prayer to God, I told Him I didn’t want to fear and have all my joy suffocated in its clutches.

He answered me with perfect peace and engraved this message in my heart.  “I don’t have to fear, and I don’t need to fear, for I am in the grip of His hand forever more” I knew from then on that my future was in God’s hands and He wants the best for me. Even when it doesn’t go as I have planned, God has a bigger vision in mind. 

It was a wonderful fear-free pregnancy and I gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Chalice Hosanna, meaning “a beautiful vessel of praise unto God.”

 SERENE ALLISON

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Through Faith AND Patience

Our two children were born March 13, 1981 and December 26, 1982. They were very ill from the day they were born, causing us to resent them just a little. We had never really known a family that truly nurtured their children; thus we had no example to follow. The world taught us to just "make it"' until they were grown.

We were even having a hard time with that. Therefore in the summer of 1983, my husband chose to have a vasectomy. We had an elder son and then a daughter; what the world deemed as the perfect family. What more could we ask for? Our family was complete and we would have no more worry about more children coming along.

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Pain After Vasectomy

During our engagement in 1981, we attended premarital counseling with our pastor. At one of these classes he encouraged us to read the section in our book we were using as a study guide to decide how we would handle "family planning". So from the beginning of our marriage, we both felt that we were totally responsible for how many, how soon, and how close our children would be.

This idea came from the world, the church, this Christian book we were using as a study guide, and the medical profession. Never once did anyone ever suggest that we go to the Scripture and find out what God had to say, and sadly, though we were both Christians, the idea never occurred to us.

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A Tough Conviction

During our premarital counseling, Warren and I asked the pastor if it was okay to use birth control. Since I had already had an out-of-wedlock daughter, Angel, who was four years old, I knew that I would have to deliver all my children by c-section. This would be expensive, but I still wondered if we wouldn't be "playing God" by using birth control.

The pastor said that he felt sure that the Lord would want us to "get established" before having any more children. I was extremely apprehensive about going to the clinic to get free pills because I knew that abortions were performed there. So the pastor's wife went along with me to the Emma Goldman Clinic in Iowa City to offer "moral support." It was a very creepy place.

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Business Woman Blues

My mother worked while I was growing up so when Tom and I got married, it was only natural that I would work. How else could you obtain the American dream? Mom was always very good in administration and she climbed the ladder. When I started in banking the year before we got married, I also did very well.

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Two Wonderful Pink lines

I was an only child, and even as a teenager when all my friends loved babies, I couldn't see the big deal. I met John when I was 11 and he was 13. We were best friends growing up, and no one was surprised when we got married. I think what really surprised everyone was the birth of our son, Joshua, nine months and two days after our wedding. I think they all assumed that he was an "accident" but we really did want a baby as soon as we got married.

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PMS Symptoms Increased After Tubal

In 1987, ten months after our fifth child was born, I had a tubal ligation. We were experiencing financial difficulties and thought we couldn’t afford our present situation, let alone any more children!

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Six Babies After Reversal

Joe and I were very young, and were sure we knew what we wanted, so at the age of 17, the two of us got married. Six months after the wedding, I found myself expecting, even though I had been taking the pill for months. We were both shocked, but I got over it and settled into the idea of being a mom pretty fast.

Joe had a harder time and we both struggled through that. Nine months later I gave birth to our son, Patrick. I had a horrible time having him because I asked for an epidural and it caused me to go into respiratory distress. It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. I had to have support breathing for over an hour. I was convinced that I was going to die. I also had the worst spinal headache afterwards that kept me bedridden for two days. Not a good start for mothering at all.

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Are You Being Robbed?

The emptiest places in America today are the homes! How sad that thousands of women are being robbed of the joy of their homes. Mothers have left their homes in droves because society tells them that it is a place of insignificance, a place where they will come to nothing. This is a lie. The home is meant to be the hub of society. It is meant to be where everything happens from birth to the grave. The home is a nurturing center, a birthing center, an education center, a worship center, a praise center, a cultural development center, a social center, an eating center, a hospitality center, a counseling center, a health center, an industry center, a convalescent center and a garden center! It is a place of life and joy.

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What Does It Mean To Endure?

This is a word study from the Bible to see what it really means to endure. There are seven different areas in which God wants us to endure:

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Mission Possible!

Mothers, we have a mission from God!

There are times, mothers, when you feel as though you are not able to serve the Lord because you are so busy looking after children. You wish you could escape the frustrations and tediousness of each day and instead go out as a laborer on the mission field. Mother, I want to remind you that you are already a missionary. You already have a mission field. It’s right in front of your eyes.

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Heaven's Nursery
Click Here>> Heaven's Nursery to read a poem written By Rebekah Milne, Mildura, SA, Australia,
written after her own miscarriage.

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Heaven's Nursery

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By Rebekah Milne, Mildura, SA, Australia,
written after her own miscarriage.

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How Many C-Sections Can You Have?

Seven little children in Brisbane, Australia, know their mother is pretty special - she gave birth to all of them by Caesarean section. Deborah of the Old Testament was a valiant woman and Deborah Mitchel qualifies for the title in this age, as she had to battle the medical 'experts' to be allowed to give life to her babies.

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What Do You Do When Your Pregnancy Is Life Threatening?

GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANY PROBLEM!

Pregnancy and childbirth is not a sickness, but a beautiful natural thing. However, there are times when serious medical complications can arise. What should we do in these times? Give in to the diagnoses and advice of the medical profession - or trust God? The following testimonies are stories of mothers who chose to trust God. And every time God was faithful. These are just a few of so many testimonies of God's faithfulness in this area, but we would need a book to print them all. May you be encouraged....

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The Wonder

I wonder if you feel the same as I do when a positive sign appears on your pregnancy test. A feeling of awe washes over me. Realizing that a miracle has occurred inside my body is a special thrill that is hard to describe. I walk around for the first few days feeling as if I am the most special woman in the world.

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Miracles In Your Home - No. 149

Psalm 139:14, "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

You know that God is a miracle-working God. You believe it. You are in awe at how God stretched forth His mighty right arm to deliver the Israelites from the clutches of Egypt and how He brought them through the Red Sea on dry land. Yet, do you sometimes wonder why God doesn't do any personal miracles for you?

You don't have to wonder any longer! You already have miracles in your home. You are looking at them all day long! You are a miracle. Your husband is a miracle. Each one of your precious children are miracles, created by God's miracle working power.

David was certainly writing under the inspiration of God when he wrote that we are "fearfully and wonderfully made.""wonderfully" is the Hebrew word palah. It means "to distinguish." In other places in the Bible it is translated, "put a difference", "separated", and "set apart". He did not have access to ultra sound to see the intricate workings of the baby being formed in the secret place of the womb, but God wrote though him. The word translated

God reveals to us in this Scripture how He makes every new person in the world different, a special unique person that has never lived before or will ever live again! Each one is distinguished from everyone else. Each one is set apart to be someone special and to fulfill a destiny that no one else can fulfill. Now that's amazing! That's awesome!

Look at each one of your children now. They are a special, only one of its kind miracle! Start thanking God for the all the miracles in your home! Look upon them as miracles. Each one is irreplaceable. Each one has different gifts and callings and a different personality from you! That's why some children don't seem to "fit" the family strain. God created them differently! Allow them to be the unique miracle that God created them to be. That's why you can't be a stereotype parent. You need to call upon God for wisdom for each child individual child.

Of course you will still see family traits coming through. That's another miracle in itself. My daughter Pearl is not like me. She looks like my mother and has a very similar personality to her--and yet she is uniquely Pearl. Pearl's daughter, Meadow has strong traits of my personality, and yet she is distinctively Meadow! I am amazed at the different giftings in our children. They are continually being and doing things that are different to the bent that Colin or I have. This keeps life from getting boring! It enlarges our thinking and our coasts! It makes us give honor to God that He is the Creator!

What about your husband? God created him exactly in the mold He planned for him! Can you stop trying to make him like you want him to be? Can you, instead, start looking at him as a God-planned miracle too?

Charles Spurgeon says, "We need not go to the ends of the earth for marvels, nor even across our own threshold; they abound in our own bodies." He also writes, "If we are marvelously wrought upon even before we are born, what shall we say of the Lord's dealings with us after we leave his secret workshop and He directs our pathways through the pilgrimage of life?"

It is interesting to note that David did not talk about his parents when he wrote of His creation. He ascribed it all to God. No matter whom the parents, every new baby is a new miracle, created by God Himself. Even if a child is born of incest or prostitution, it does not change the fact that they are a special miracle, masterminded and fashioned by God for His glory and praise. They are a separate entity from their birth parents. As S. D. Gordon says, "The new-born babe is a fresh act of God. He is the latest revelation of God's creative handiwork."

Surely we must exclaim again with the Psalmist, "Know that the Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us, and not we ourselves." (Psalm 100:3)

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

Prayer:

"Lord, I am sorry that I have taken my husband and children for granted. I acknowledge that they are miracles of your creation. Lord, I thank you for the miracles in my home. Help me to always see them as miracles. Amen."

 

Quote:

 

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The Genuine Christmas - No. 69

Philippians 2:6-8, “Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedience unto death, even the death of the cross.”

Much of what we see and experience of Christmas today is total antipathy to the birth of Jesus that we are supposed to be remembering. We have Christmas trees, decorations, lights, tinsel, Santa Claus, and an over abundance of food. The first Christmas was one of poverty, but Christmas today is commercialized, often luxurious and millions of dollars are thrown around.

The first Christmas was a very humble one. It was not glamorous. Today, if a couple were so poor that they had to have their baby in a dirty animal stable, the Social Services would take their baby away from them. But 2000 years down the line, it seems that the humility of Christmas has been forgotten.

I think it would be good to remind ourselves of the true reality of Christmas, don’t you?

1. The humility of Mary.

Mary was a humble maiden with a humble lineage. She was not a royal princess. She was not a High Priest's daughter. She was not rich. Mary herself confesses in her song, "He hath regarded the low estate of his handmaiden.... He hath put down the mighty from their seats, and exalted them of low degree...” (Luke 1:48-49) But God chose this unknown virgin to bring forth His precious Son. He chose her because she was a willing vessel. Often those who have everything materially, are not willing vessels. God is not looking for riches and material possessions. He is looking for women with obedient hearts - mothers who will welcome to their hearts the children whom God has planned to send them. He is looking for those who have the same spirit Mary had when she said, "Be it unto me according to thy Word." (Luke 1:38) She was totally surrendered to the will of the Lord. In the face of poverty, ridicule, rejection and estrangement, she embraced this child who would be the Savior of the world.

I will never forget going to the famous art gallery in London and seeing a painting of Mary. It was such an anointed picture. The artist had captured the look of total submission and abandonment to the will of God upon her face. It was amazing. I looked and looked at it for hours. The caption was the very words, "Be it unto me according to thy Word."

2. The humility of Joseph.

Joseph was a humble carpenter from a humble village. Do you remember that Nathanael said of Jesus, "Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth?" (John 1:46) His own residents of Nazareth spurned him and asked, “Is not this the carpenter's son?" (Matthew 13:55)

3. The humility of His birthplace.

Jesus was born in a manger in a barn with the smells and messes of the animals all around. Jesus was born to be King, but God didn't provide a palace for His Son in which to be born. He didn't provide a doctor, nurses and hospital. There was no cradle, beautifully draped with lace and frills. Only straw! Was there even that? No Christmas card paints the true reality of the scene.

If this was the beginning of the Son of God, why do we, the sons and daughters of God, expect that we should have all the niceties of life? Of course, if God blesses us with them, we will receive them with joy, but should we expect them? Everything surrounding the birth of Jesus was humble. It is interesting that in the body of Christ we have the "Faith movement" and the "Discipleship movement" and so on. But has anyone ever heard of the "Humility movement"? We don't take to this aspect so well, do we? And yet this is how God planned for His beloved Son to be born. And this is how he lived all through His life. Shouldn't humility also be the hallmark of our Christian experience?

Isn't it so amazing that God chose to bring forth His beloved Son through the process of birth? He could have sent him down from Heaven on a chariot of fire! He could have sent a legion of angels to escort Him from the majesty of heaven. But no! He chose for Jesus to be conceived and nurtured in a womb, to be born of a woman, the way that God planned for all human life to come into this world.

Surely this raises birth to a high estate. What a privilege to give birth and give life to children, the very same way that Jesus came into the world? How blessed we are as women.

4. The humility of Jesus' dedication.

After the days of a mother's purification, the parents took the baby to the temple to be dedicated. They had to bring a lamb to be sacrificed for the dedication. However, if they could not afford a lamb, they brought two turtle doves or young pigeons. (Leviticus 12:6-8) The account in Luke 2:23-24 tells us that Joseph and Mary brought doves or pigeons. They belonged to the poor class. They couldn't afford to bring a lamb. And yet God chose from the poorer class to bring forth the King of kings and Lord of lords.

We don't have to own our own home and have all the modern conveniences before we are ready to have a baby. All we have to have is willing and welcome hearts. God will always provide for the children He sends. The poor who have children are richer than the wealthy who reject children. Isn't that so true?

May you have a wonderful Christmas together with your family. May God keep all our hearts focused on the humility of His birth, rather than tinsel and toys.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

“Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for leaving the glory of heaven to come to this earth. Thank you for humbling yourself to become a little baby. Thank you for being humiliated for me. Thank you that you came to die, and to die for my sin. How can I ever thank you adequately? But with all my being I worship and love you. Amen.”

QUOTE:

Zechariah 9:9 NAS, “Behold your king is coming to you; He is just and endowed with salvation, humble, and mounted on a donkey, even on a colt, the foal of a donkey”

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Persevering Faith!

There is a line from a famous movie, "Honest Miss Charlotte, I don't know nothing about birthing babies! ". As the little gal frantically blurts out this statement, there is a baby about to be born in the other room. This describes my experience when I first started having children, and I believe it is the case with most women in general.