Today Is Mother's Day
I awoke to the sound of whispering in the kitchen. At least, as much whispering as a nine year old boy and his four year old brother could manage. I was still half asleep, and squashed like a sardine in my queen size bed. It was barely 7 a.m. and I was tandem nursing our 17 month old son, Henry and his new baby sister. Little Sophia had been born abruptly, unexpectedly, six weeks premature in this very bed just three months before.
These days, waking in the middle of the night is all I seem to do. There are, of course, two hungry babies to feed off and on until the wee hours. But what kept me up that night, and most nights, was thoughts of my husband, a naval officer, thousands of miles away in the desert.
It would be about supper time there. I wondered if he had eaten yet and hoped it had been tolerable. I prayed for his safety and the safety of his men. I prayed that he would be a good witness to the crew that he flew with. I prayed for their missions that would ultimately bring both freedom and the opportunity to learn of the true living God to a people who had never known either. I prayed for each of our seven children who all miss their Daddy. When I could pray no more I would fall back asleep until the next round of crying babies or fear awoke me.
There I was, on a Thursday morning in October, completely exhausted, scrambling to compose my thoughts and organize the day’s events in my head when in walked Daniel. At four years old, buzz cut hair and chocolate brown eyes; he was the spitting image of his father. He was grinning ear to ear, wearing nothing but his underwear. I was about to robotically tell him to go get dressed when he proudly announced, “Look, we made this for you.”
He thrust a mug at me, nearly spilling its contents on his sleeping sister. It caught me off guard. Had my four year old really made coffee? Indeed he had, with the help of his older brother. I took an obligatory sip to not hurt his feelings. Hmm. It was actually pretty good.
They had put in just the right amount of sugar and cream, not to mention it was in my favorite mug--a bright blue one with fading gold letters that spelled out Navy and a big chip on one side, undoubtedly from one of the four moves we’ve made in the last two years. Before I could thank him, he came over and kissed my hand, put on his best superhero voice and said “Happy Mothers Day, I love you” then darted from my room, his arms spread out like an airplane, making a loud zooming noise.
Did he just say Happy Mother’s Day? Surely he remembered that it was October. The leaves were starting to change and it was getting cooler by the day. He had to have remembered how we celebrated Mother’s Day just a few months ago.
It was the day my husband had left on a mission. We were still living in a hotel having just arrived at our new duty station three days before. I dismissed his mistake with a shrug and pried myself from the dimpled arms and legs surrounding me. I was too busy making breakfast, braiding hair, changing diapers, and laying out schoolwork to instruct my son on the calendar.
I didn’t give it another thought as I loaded the car seats, children, stroller, diaper bag, my purse and finally myself into the van. We were in hurry to avoid the crowds at the commissary this morning.
Let’s see--we can put the baby in a cart and let Chloe push it. We’ll need Samuel to push a cart for the eleven gallons of milk we drink each week, and then Jacob and Lydia can push carts for the rest of the groceries. I can push the stroller with Daniel and Henry and balance the eggs and bread on top.
I smile politely at the people who stare at us as we walk like a row of ducks into the building. It’s overcrowded and the baby is getting hungry. They are out of plain yogurt and the apples are all bruised. We stand in line for nearly fifteen minutes chatting with strangers who always ask the same questions.
I keep smiling and reply, “No, it’s not a daycare; yes, they are all mine; no, the girls aren’t twins, just 15 months apart, and yes, we do in fact home school.” The children all smile and I am grateful for their sweet attitudes.
We finally leave, $428 poorer, pondering how to fit our bounty into the van. “We’ll put the stroller in first then start loading the milk, put the eggs and bread up by me, load in the babies and everyone else find a spot where you don’t squish the food.” On the twenty minute drive home we talk about the changing season, how much longer until Daddy comes home and the fact that the frozen pot roast sitting on Jacob’s lap is making his legs tingle.
The boys spend fifteen minutes lugging in the groceries that take me nearly three hours to put away. I have to stop to feed the baby, put a band aid on a scrape from a fall in the driveway, and figure how to divide all the food between two pantries and three refrigerators.
A gallon of milk is dropped on the kitchen floor, instantly breaking open and creating a huge mess. Meanwhile a toddler who is going unwatched as his mommy juggles the groceries has gotten into a bag of newly purchased chocolate chips and is making his own little mess.
The groceries are finally put up and schoolwork started when I realize it’s nearly 1:30. I haven’t even started lunch. The rest of the day is spent correcting math, tying shoes, making dinner, catching up on cleaning, doing five loads of laundry and then ultimately bathing seven children and getting them ready to do it all again tomorrow. The house looks like it was hit by a tornado. It takes a bit longer than normal to pick up and tuck them in after our bedtime devotion.
Finally everyone is kissed and sent off to their rooms. There are a few tears for missing Daddy followed by jumping on beds, giggling antics, trips to the bathroom, requests for glasses of water, and then more trips to the bathroom. It is nearly 10 p.m. before everyone is asleep. I have nursed the baby and laid her in the crib in the next room. Henry is snuggled on my lap, trying his best not to fall asleep.
I read my Bible and praise God for my many blessings. I thank Him for his constant love and protection. I praise him for His mercy on my sinful ways, and I thank Him for allowing my husband to have been home to help in the birth of his newest daughter. I ask the Lord to guide me in my husband’s absence and give an extra portion of wisdom in raising these little “arrows” by myself. Then I try my best to fall asleep.
My mind is racing with the day’s events. I try to remember if I locked the back door. I make a mental note to discuss homophones with Samuel. I briefly entertain the idea of getting up to correct Lydia’s penmanship papers.
I hope Jacob hasn’t forgotten to read his Psalm for the day. I remember that I have not changed Sophia’s diaper before putting her down and say a quick prayer that it holds until she wakes up for a feeding.
I notice the basket of sewing sitting near my bed and think about the dresses I still need to cut out for the girls to wear on Thanksgiving. I think about Chloe’s birthday approaching soon and try to remember where I stashed the new Bible her father had bought her.
The house seems extra loud and dark with Doug gone. I decide to turn on the news, hoping it will lull me to sleep. Between the war coverage and stories of sinful people it defeats the intended purpose and I am even more awake.
I decide to spend this quiet time with the Lord. As I finish praying, the phone rings. I look at the clock and realize it is well past midnight. I cautiously pick up the phone. A familiar voice booms, “Hi Honey, did you have a good day?” I try not to get choked up at the sound of my beloved’s voice so far away. “Of course I did. You know today is Mother’s Day.”
LESLIANNE
WEST COAST, USA
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This couple are blessed with seven children - Samuel (11), Jacob (9), Chloe (7), Lydia (6 ), Daniel (4), Henry (17 months), and Sophia (3 months). (Full name withheld because of husband’s secret missions. Pray for Leslianne as she mothers her children for most of the year on her own.)
Motherhood Bliss!
Before I was married, I didn’t know much about parenting (my own family was abusive), and I knew even less about God. When our son was born, I fell in love with him instantly! Thankfully, I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and decided to try nursing, even though I had never seen it done before.
The only real ‘mothering’ experience I had was from babysitting a baby years ago. He had been formula-fed and was on a strict schedule, spending most of his time alone. What I remembered most about him was the awful way he would cry alone in the crib as I waited for him to fall asleep.
Soon every thought of returning to college left my mind as I held, nursed and carried my baby. I didn’t want to be away from him, and of course, he was happiest right next to me. He came everywhere with me and rarely ever left my arms. All I had to do was nurse him when he was fussy or tired and change him when he needed it. He loved to sleep with my husband and me.
When he was six weeks old I attended my first La Leche League meeting. I learned so much. I read studies that proved doing things naturally, such as breastfeeding on cue, was beneficial to both mom and baby.
I learned that carrying my baby provided him with better social development. I even learned that crib death is less common when babies sleep with their moms, and how doctors believe that the mom’s body acts as a pace-maker for her baby’s immature system. I was fascinated! I also met a wonderful Christian mom at LLL, who began planting seeds about God in my heart.
Two years later, my young son had a night where he couldn’t sleep. I sat up with him as my new baby daughter slept in bed with my husband. Suddenly I remembered a much neglected Gideon’s Bible that had been given to me years ago. The next few hours flew by as I devoured the precious words.
With my sleeping son by my side, I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. Just a few months later, my husband and I were both baptized in a local lake and started our new life together. God lovingly cared for me, His child, as I lovingly cared for my child.
Now that I knew God, the more I thought about mothering, the more excited I became. I realized the reason natural mothering works so well is because God designed it!
In the same way God designed our bodies to give birth naturally, He designed us to mother naturally. I felt like I had stumbled upon some ancient mystery, and I knew the reason behind all those happy babies and children at the LLL meetings. Whether their parents knew God or not, they were raising their babies according to His design and received the blessings for following His plan!
Isaiah 66:11-13 says, “For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the LORD says: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.’” (Emphasis added).
As a new Christian, I would sit with my new baby daughter for hours reading the Bible. I learned that God can use the Bible to teach us, not just with its words, but also by the people within its pages. As a mother, two of my favorite examples are Eve and Mary. Who better to look to as we mother our own children but “The mother of all living” and the mother of Christ himself?
God gave Eve everything she needed to do her job perfectly--breasts to nourish and comfort, arms to hold, a soft body to keep her little one warm at night, a voice to sing and teach, motherly instincts, and a loving heart. She lacked nothing.
I can envision her carrying her baby throughout the day, and the new family sleeping all curled up together at night, just as God intended. A beautiful picture of simplicity and love.
I love to think of Mary. All God does is good. He didn’t only choose a family for Jesus. He also chose a time and culture. God could have decided to send Jesus anytime, even today!
Could you see Jesus as a child in the schools today, riding the bus and playing video games? Or as a baby in His crib with a blankie, Mary hardening her heart as He “cried it out”? God had something much different in mind. He placed His son in a culture where every birth was natural, where moms kept their children close during the day, and where children nursed for years.
Just like Eve, Mary had no clocks for feeding schedules, no bottles, no separate sleeping room for her baby, and no “experts” writing books claiming to have a better way to raise her baby. They listened to the one true Expert, our Lord Himself! I believe both mothers did what came naturally, following their God-given instincts and mothers’ hearts. They did not harden their hearts to their babies’ cries.
The Bible talks about the peacock who is deprived of wisdom and understanding because she is “hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers.” (Job 36:13-17)
Then there is Jesus Himself. In Luke 6:31 He tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Matthew 18:33, He said, “Shouldest not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” Jesus wants us to put other’s needs above our own.
In Matthew 25:35-45, He says, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing... And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.”
Who is the “least of these” more than a helpless baby or child? When He said to give a drink to the thirsty, certainly He includes our own baby, when he/she cries out for it.
God wants us to love our children the same way He loves us, and not forsake them in their time of helplessness. Listen to what the Bible says in Isaiah 49:15, “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” I will have to answer to God someday about how I cared for the “least of these” in my own home when they were in need. I want to be sure I did my best for Him.
We live in a modern world, but this neither changes God’s design nor alters God’s best. God never changes. By mothering this way, I teach my children about God. I show them every moment how God is always available for us, how He does not abandon us when we need Him.
Just as we are dependant on God, God made babies dependant on us. We should seek to live out 1 Thessalonians 2:7, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”
Natural mothering is filled with all kinds of joy! I love the peace of falling asleep at night with my tiny nursing baby on one side and my husband’s strong arm wrapped around both of us. What better alarm clock in the morning, than a cooing baby who pats your cheek and squeals with delight when you open your eyes and look at him?
There is nothing like having your baby in your arms (or your sling) all day, always in your world, always learning and enjoying your closeness--and you don’t miss a smile or a laugh!
I have given birth four times so far. I admit that each time I have been very afraid of the pain as I tend to have very fast, intense births. So far, each birth I have placed my trust in something different. The first time, I trusted in man’s way which caused only pain and human intervention. All sorts of unnecessary machines and gadgets were used.
My second birth came, and this time I was sure I was prepared. I had read all the so-called “right” books, and had all the “knowledge” I needed. I was even at home--and in the water this time! Although it was a beautiful birth, it was only man’s knowledge, and the birth was still extremely painful. We need more than man’s small knowledge to birth and mother!
The third time I was again at home—and in the water. I read a book by a Christian author who said she had the right way to birth, if I would only follow her method. You guessed it. Another good but very painful birth. The baby was just over ten pounds, a lot to handle for my small frame!
As much as I wanted my fourth baby, I was afraid to go through the pain again. I turned whole-heartedly to the only place I had left. I turned to Jesus and things changed for me. I prayed more for this birth and new baby than any of the others, and depended only on Jesus. It worked!
When I heard my midwife say my baby was out, my first thought was “That was it?” It hurt, of course, but by depending on Jesus, for the first time it was completely and totally bearable and better than it had ever been before!
Like all of our homebirthed babies, he didn’t cry, and was happy, pink and alert. But unlike our other babies, this little one has not cried to this day! He has never had a tear in his eye. He is four months old now, and the most joyful baby we have ever had, full of smiles and laughs.
He has been in someone’s arms almost every single moment of his life. He baths in the big tub with me and sleeps skin-to-skin with me at night. He nurses when he needs to, and naps as I carry him through my day. We are totally connected. I have truly never been happier, nor had a happier baby!
God’s Word applies to all of life, including our mothering. We need to mother with what God gave us--love, our mother’s heart, our biology, our God-given instincts, and our baby’s signals. We need to stop listening to the many voices of the world and start listening to the only voice that matters.
God’s way is about the heart, the connectedness between moms and babies, rather than rules, so-called experts, and schedules. God’s way is about people, relationships, and love rather than outward things. Babies’ needs haven’t changed since the beginning of time, and neither has God.
AMIE GRAY
Onalaska, Washington, USA
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Don and Amie have four children, Brodie (7), Hannah (5), Aden (2) and baby Elijah (4 months).
ABOVE RUBIES NEWSLETTER, #7, Nov 2007
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU!
Dear precious Above Rubies reader,
May God give you His heart-peace and fill your home with His love. And of course, HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and your whole family. We are looking forward to a big family gathering. There will be over 50 of us with just our immediate family, even though one family will not be with us!
Here comes another newsletter to keep you going until the next Above Rubies comes your way. I hope to get it edited before the end of the year and send it out in the New Year.
If you live in the USA, I am sure you have received your new Above Rubies, #72 by now. The last packages were sent out on the 19 October. It is a wonderful issue and I know it is bringing great encouragement to you. I know you will have enjoyed the feature article on managing to live in a small house with a large family. I couldn’t fit them all in the magazine, so am posting a few more at the end of this newsletter. Make sure you get to the end to read them.
I also have to mention a couple more things…
FINANCING AN ADOPTION
There is an article about this on page 23. However, when I received the magazine from the printers, I was sad to see that they had omitted to print the contact information at the end of the article. It was all there on the proofs but didn’t come out in the printing. Instead there was a green space. I was very sorry about this. For those who are interested I will now give you the full information.
If you need help with grants for your adoption from anywhere in the world, contact:
Donna Barber or Jeanette Turbeville
W6126 Hraban Road, Tony, WI 54563
Phone 715.415.4401 or 715.749.3607
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BREAKFAST FOR THE BRAIN
Evangeline, our daughter, wrote an article about preparing steel cut oats for breakfast, page 20. She didn’t state how long to cook it, and because it was last minute, I decided I would put 35 – 40 minutes! She nearly had a fit when she read it. “Mum,” she cried out, “You only have to cook it for two to three minutes!” Forgive me. My mistake! You need to cook it this long if you don’t soak it, but the secret of preparing steel cut oats is to soak it overnight! Then you only have to cook it for a few minutes. I hope that helps!
WHOLESOME MOVIES
My husband, Colin and I do not have time for TV, therefore we do not have it connected in our home. When our older children were young, we allowed them to watch certain programs. However, they are now in their forties, and this is a different era of TV. I don’t believe that any God-fearing family could allow their children to watch TV today.
But now we face another problem. We have recently adopted four teenagers from Liberia, West Africa. If they had their own way, they would love to watch TV all day. Just as well it is not connected! However, they do need some form of entertainment, and so we allow them to watch some wholesome movies on the weekend.
But the next problem is. Where do we find wholesome movies? Fortunately, we have been able to find some very wonderful movies that were very positive and we were most happy about, but they are running out. I am certainly not an expert on movies (and don’t even know the names of any movie stars), so I need help. Maybe you do too.
I was thinking that it would be so good to have a list of positive, wholesome, and yet exciting movies for teens. When it is time to have a family movie night together, instead of going to the video store and spending two hours to find something wholesome and coming home with nothing, we could go with the list and choose one from the list that we know is going to be good.
Could you help me compile this list? I need it for myself, but once I put it together, I will post it for you too. Is that a good idea? I think it would be good to all glean from one another, don’t you?
Therefore, if you have watched a good movie that is suitable for young people (I am not talking about little children’s movies at this moment – there are many little children’s movies that are good, the problem is finding them for the middling and teen children), could you please email the title or titles to me. Please type MOVIES in the subject heading. Otherwise I may miss the email. I have so many hundreds of emails that I usually only pick up the ones with a subject heading that looks important. Now there’s a hint to get me to read your email!
DINNER TIME CONVERSATION
An Above Rubies reader recently wrote to me, “Both coming from families with poor conversational skills, my husband and I sometimes find ourselves at a loss to initiate meaningful and interesting conversation at dinner with our six children from ages 6 through 17. The children and I are together most of the day, hence we already KNOW most of what has gone on with each other that day. Can you suggest some good conversational starters to help us get going?”
This is a really good question. I also find that if I don’t think of some ideas before the mealtime, the conversation goes nowhere or is non-existent. By the way, when we put out a question at the table, we start with one person and go around the table, allowing everyone to have a turn. Here are some ideas…
If you were given a million dollars, how would you spend it? (I have to admit that this was one of the favorite questions our children growing up, and they never tired of it! No wonder one of our sons decided he wanted to be a millionaire by the time he was 30 years. He didn’t quite make by 30, but he is one now! Of course, that didn’t happen with all the family. Our daughter, Evangeline, lives with their nine children in a little tiny cabin with no bedrooms and no beds! But she has such an amazing positive attitude that she lives like a millionaire!)
If you were able to travel to another country, which one would you choose, and why?
What is your favorite room in the house, and why?
What is your favorite movie, and why?
What is the most interesting show, entertainment or tourist place you have been to? Why did you like it the best?
What are you most thankful for in life?
What new thing would you like to learn to do?
What is the funniest thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is the best thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is the worst thing that has happened to you in your life?
What is your dream and vision for your life?
Who is the nicest person you know, and why?
What was the kindest thing that someone ever did for you?
What was the nicest thing someone ever said to you? How did it make you feel?
How do you think our words can affect other people?
What is the best Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Passover etc. you have ever enjoyed. Choose which one is appropriate for your family.
What was the most interesting thing that happened to you today?
Tell us something new that you learned today.
Did you learn a new word today? Can you tell us what it is and what it means?
What is your favorite story, and why?
If you were given a day that you could do anything you like to do, what would you like to do?
What is your favorite Bible verse, and why?
Who is your favorite character in the Bible, and why?
Tell us what you think is special about older people.
Tell us what you love about babies.
Share with us the character of the man or lady that you would like to marry when you grow up.,
What kind of a house would you like to live in when you get married?
What kind of wedding would you like to have when you get married?
What is your favorite tree, and why?
What is your favorite flower, and why?
If you could have whatever you wanted for dinner, what would you choose?
In what way would you like to serve the Lord when you grow older?
If you were going to be a missionary, to which country would you like to go to serve the Lord?
I think you will have enough here to keep you going for a good while. If you can think of others, you can email them to me.
Another good idea is to ask each of the children to bring a poem to the table, read it and share why they like this particular poem. Or you could ask one child each night to have a turn and the next child another night.
CALIFORNIAN ABOVE RUBIES EGROUP
The new yahoo group for CA is active if anyone is interested. You might want to post it in the magazine.
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to subscribe.
Thank you! Rhonda Gordon,
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ONE HOT, ONE COLD
“When you sent out the letter asking for nursing stories for the magazine, I didn't have any; but a few weeks later, I got a good one! I was nursing our six-month old son Joey while Davey (almost 5) and Willie (just turned 3)were playing nearby. When I switched Joey to the other side to finish nursing, Davey suddenly stood up and asked, "Why did you put him on the other side?"
I replied, "So he can drink the milk on this side. There's milk on both sides." With a look that said he had just solved the mystery he exclaimed, "Oh! Is one the hot milk and one the cold milk?" Children's thoughts are so precious!”
Jenny Luibrand,
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Novi Sad, Serbia
Blessed to be married to Steve and mother to Davey, Willie, and Joey
CANDLE LOVERS CAN HELP ORPHANS
“We adopted a little boy from Acres of Hope in the winter of 2005/2006. After our experience with Acres of Hope, we wanted to contribute to their ministry on a regular basis. We turned our candlemaking hobby into a fundraiser for Acres of Hope called "A Flicker of Hope". We have already been able to send nearly $4,000 in cash and products, a laptop computer and a digital camera to Acres of Hope over the course of the last year.
If you are a candle lover, we certainly hope you will consider "A Flicker of Hope" for your personal purchases. Our candles also make wonderful gifts and help spread the word about the work of Acres of Hope and Liberia. Our candles are of highest quality. They are made from all natural soy/cottonseed blend wax. We use a cotton core wick that doesn't require trimming. The combination of natural wax and cotton core wick produces a much cleaner burning candle. his means little to no soot on your jar, wall, furniture and in the air. Our prices are low and the quality of our fragrances ranks right up there with the more expensive, high end candles. Best of all, 100% of the profits goes to the programs of Acres of Hope.
Please visit our new website at www.aflickerofhope.org for more of our story, complete product descriptions and ordering information. You can learn more about the work of Acres of Hope in Liberia by visiting their website at www.acresofhope.com.
Missy Hickman and Cheryl Blankenship
CHRISTMAS CARDS TO RECOVERING SOLDIERS
I received this through my email and don’t usually pass things on, but I do feel this is something positive we can do, or our children can do. I don’t get time to send Christmas cards, but I think I should send one of these. The note says…
“When doing your Christmas cards this year, take one card and send it to this address. When you are making out your Christmas card list this year, please include the following:
A Recovering American soldier
C/o Walter Reed Army Medical Center
6900 Georgia Ave NW
Washington D.C. 20307-5001
DOWN SYNDROME CHILDREN
My lovely niece, Melissa, is mothering her eight children, ten years and under, while her husband is in Iraq. Two of the children are little ones they adopted from Liberia recently, one is her baby who was born the day before her husband left for Iraq, and she also has a little Down Syndrome daughter.
She wrote to me, “I don't know if you saw or heard about the recent report on the conditions for special needs people in Serbia? If you didn't, it was, and is terrible. Children with Down Syndrome are tied to their beds for years at a time, adults with handicaps are kept in empty cold rooms... It is hard to imagine that people don't realize that these fellow humans have worth, they have thoughts and feelings, hopes and desires, like the rest of us do.
To think that some people could look at our daughter Jahna and think that she is useless, valueless... tie her to a bed for the rest of her life, barely feed and clean her. It would be better to just outright kill these poor souls, but that would be morally offensive wouldn't it?!
All sarcasm and emotion aside, all I can do is send you this link (which will hopefully work), in the hopes of moving you to take some action, for maybe just one child, to have a family to love them.
http://www.onetruemedia.com/otm_site/view_shared?p=43584ff9c987f96c0f042 (this link did not work)
Melissa Calhoon,
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NEW COORDINATOR FOR GULF COAST RETREAT
Darlene Barnett writes, “My husband (Melvin) has accepted the pastorate in Neeses, SC. So, where does this leave Gulf Coast Rubies? It has been my privilege to be your Gulf Coast Event Coordinator for the past five years. Your new Gulf Coast Event Coordinator will be Misty Potter. Misty has attended all the Gulf Coast retreats. She can usually be found pitching in at the book table, cleaning up or pouring a cup of coffee for the ladies She made the gorgeous name tags for the past two years, and she also coordinated a retreat in Tennessee several years ago. Most importantly, she is a godly wife and mother who loves her family, loves her Lord and has a servant's heart. She accepted this leadership position after much prayer and with her husband's blessing and encouragement. Second in Command will be Rosanne Van Cleave.
The retreat for 2008 will be February 29 - March 2. Check the website: www.gulfcoastrubies.com.
By the way, it is Rosanne Van Cleave’s husband who is on the front cover of the current Above Rubies, with their precious little daughter, Melody.
CHRISTIAN MIDWIVES’ CONFERENCE
Doran Richards, who wrote CELEBRATING PREGNANCY, page 10 in the current issue of Above Rubies sent information for a coming conference for midwives in the spring of 2008. There is such a need for Christian midwives. There are too many new age midwives and not enough Christian midwives around. If you are interested, here is the information:
Christian Midwives International 4th Annual Conference
The Joy of the Lord!
April 30 – May 3, 2008 - Indiana
www.christianmidwives.org
For women, doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, pregnancy center workers, students, young ladies, etc.
Register online, advertise or have a table/booth
CEU’s available through MEAC
Why is this conference different than all the rest?
Spiritual Uplifting
Biblical Instruction
Godly Fellowship
MORE STORIES ABOUT A LARGE FAMILY IN SMALL SPACE
I know that you will have enjoyed all the testimonies in this current magazine about fitting a large family in a small space. I received far more than I could ever fit in the magazine, and some also arrived too late. I will print a few more for you here…
MATTRESS FROM CORNER TO CORNER
We live in the mountains in Mexico in a very small canyon…well the canyon is not so small but it is not very highly populated. My husband pastors a church here and we publish a home school magazine in Spanish and organize home school conferences.
We lived in a small log cabin with six of our 9 children for 7 years. Our three older children live in the United States now, two of which are married. While we have now moved into a larger home (about 800 square feet), we lived in a 400 square feet cabin that also had two lofts that we used for bedrooms.
It has been an adventure similar to Little House on the Prairie. My daughter Anna climbed a homemade ladder and crawled into her room. (At six years old, she could barely standup in the center of the room.) The boys had the larger loft. They climbed a steep set of stairs to get into it. There is a saying in Spanish—rincón a rincón puro colchon. That means from corner to corner it is all mattress. With five boys in one loft, that saying certainly fit in our house!
The children loved their cozy rooms. We had no living room, so the small kitchen (10’ x 12’) served as an all purpose room. My husband built a bench from an old church pew that was wall to wall. We stacked school books on both ends. After meals that was our place for school work.
The first two years we did not have electricity but were later blessed with some solar equipment people had purchased to prepare for Y2K. Many days we had to gather rain water or bring it from a nearby spring. Our youngest child was born in this cabin with out any electricity!
As the boys grew and did not fit well in the little beds in their room, they often slept out side in sleeping bags. We found we could always make room for a few more. We often had to set up tents out side and some times people even slept in the van. With one bathroom you made it quick and the boys often used to hide behind a cactus outside. Although the house was small, we had many guests who loved the rustic setting. Whether it is guests spending the might or picking people up for church in our van, my husband’s favorite saying is, “There’s always room for one more.” We have had more than thirty people in our van and more than twenty guests at a time.
Each child had a small plastic box for school supplies. We found it most helpful to throw away extra papers rather than keep them. We had one drawer per person so clothes were kept to a minimum. When things were worn, we got rid of them if they could not be repaired. We found that even though we had small children, we really did not need a lot of toys. I kept a box of blocks put up for special occasions and lots of books. Since I had five boys and one girl at home, we found rocks and sticks were great toys and they loved catching lizards. They would make arrows and sling shot from things that they found outside. I preferred that the home toys (and lizards) stayed outside, but on occasion they would find their way in the house. It is such a relief not to have toys that get scattered around the house and the children hardly miss them.
We have moved to a larger home this year. The extra room is nice but on occasion we miss the quaintness of our small mountain cabin. Quality of life is definitely not dependent on the space you have in your home… but the space you have in your heart for those the Lord sends to your life.
PAM RICHARDSON
Baratillo, Coahuila México
Mike’
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Mike and Pam are blessed with 9 children Jeremy-30, Michael-28, Misty-27, Samuel-12, Isaac-11, Anna-10, Joshua-8, Timothy-7, Benjamin-5.
A TEENAGER’S POINT OF VIEW
Living in a small home with a large family is not a foreign subject to me. We’ve always lived in small homes and have had to be creative with space, storage, and sleeping arrangements.
Being the eldest of ten children and currently living in a 29’ travel trailer with my family while we wait for our home to be built, I understand tight living quarters.
Above every thing I’ve learned about storage, conserving space, and creative sleeping arrangements, nothing compares to keeping an attitude of peace and order in the home. You could be living in a palace, but without peace, cheerfulness, and love in the home – the abundance of space is worth nothing. Keeping short accounts with others, being thankful for every little thing (no matter how insignificant), maintaining a cheerful attitude, having a willing heart to serve (no matter how mundane the task), are all ways to have peace and order within your own heart, therefore maintaining peace throughout your home. How you act affects others whether you are the eldest, youngest, Mom, or Dad, attitude is everything!
You can make your season of living in small quarters a joy or drudgery just by your attitude. I encourage you to take a look inside your heart and turn you frown into a smile when you see the laundry pile up in your tiny laundry room (if you have one!) and find 10 things to be thankful for. I’m sure that you’ll see a change in the atmosphere of your home (no matter how small) once you have chosen to change the attitude of your heart.
JIMELLA CALLIS (17)
North Fork, California, USA
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Daughter to Brian & Charity Callis and big sister to Eden (16), Philip (15), David (13), Mark (8), Abigail (6), Meorah (4), Merry (3), Titus (2), Hope (8 months)
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ONE LONG CAMPING TRIP
My husband and I are Baptist missionaries in Greenland. We have four small children from ages three months to six years. Currently, we are living in a very small apartment. When we moved to Greenland four months ago, we shipped all our belongings in a 20 ft. container never dreaming that we would be living in a place too small to unload it.
After several days of cleaning the apartment, we were ready to move in. My husband laid some carpet on the old floors to make it more friendly for little feet. We have one room that consists of a shower, a sink, and a large cupboard that holds all of our clothes. We refer to this as the “dressing room.” The toilet is in a room of its own because it is what the Greenlander’s call, “an earth closet.” This has taken us Americans a little getting used to!
The kitchen is very small with minimal cupboard space and only a two burner stove top. We have one table for eating and another table which holds our small kitchen appliances (i.e. toaster, crock pot, etc.). On and under the table, I use plastic containers that serve as my pantry. I use uniform plastic containers because they stack well while helping to conserve space and avoid clutter.
This leaves the remaining room as our “multi-purpose” room. In the interest of conserving space, we have a fold out couch, a pack-n-play, sleeping bags and mats for the kids. Every morning we fold up the couch, roll up the sleeping bags and mats and place them in the pack-n-play in the corner. A built-in book shelf in the room holds all of our school books. My husband’s desk is used for studying languages, preparing messages, and keeping in touch with the outside world via the Internet. The last piece of furniture is our school table which is used for school, crafts, coloring, and snacks!
For the children’s toys, I have again resorted to plastic containers which stack neatly along the wall. We have found that furniture is overrated! We find ourselves using the floor more often than the couch and we don’t need all the extra amenities such as coffee tables, easy chairs, etc. We prefer the extra space for the children to have more room to play, yet we are still able to entertain guests in our home. If you follow the mantra, “A place for everything and everything in its place,” you can have a small, but peaceful, uncluttered home.
Is this my dream home? No. Is it where I want our family to live indefinitely? No. I look forward to the day when my kitchen will have cupboards instead of containers and my children will have beds instead of sleeping bags. Yet, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.” If I am happy and content, then my family will be happy and content. Right now our children love our new home and they view it as one long camping trip! We have learned to embrace each new adventure with smiles and optimism. Now we are settling in for the long winter ahead, our first winter North of the Arctic Circle.
CAROLE SHULL
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ALL IT TAKES IS ORGANIZATION
Our three boys, ages 11, 10 and 8, share a room together in our basement. They each have either a shelf or headboard for their current reads, framed pictures, and favorite toys. There is one 5 drawer dresser in the room, where they put their socks, underwear and pajamas. In the adjacent back hallway (usually used for storage), they each have a wide open bookshelf to keep more toys and the rest of their clothes. Their better clothes and all their shoes are in the small closet in the room. They also each have a designated shelf on a bookshelf next to their room where they put the books that have been given specifically to them. The games and larger toys (i.e., Lincoln Logs, marble game, Rescue Heroes, costume box) are stacked on the bookshelf and in the back hallway. Nails/ hooks on the walls hold their coats, hats and backpacks.
In the laundry room, I have a shelving unit which is on top of a table. Each child has a cubby hole where their clothes go. They know to check their cubby hole 6 days/ week and put those clothes away. Even my husband and I have a place. This gives us room to fold 2 or even 3 loads of laundry if we're behind, and still have the room to put their clothes.
JANE CARTER
Gresham, Oregon, USA
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Jane & Eric are blessed with their dear children: Joshua (11), Nathan (10), Jonathan (8), and Hannah (5).
I MISS THE CRAMPED LIVING
My family and I moved from Northern Virginia to the Piedmont Area of Culpeper. What was supposed to be a short term home turned into an eight month home in two small campers. My husband Alan and I had 5 children, ages 2, 4, 7, 10, & 15. The children shared the smaller camper (15 foot) and Alan and I in the 17 foot. We stored all the belongings in two 40 foot freight containers. The children made their beds daily, and had assigned cubbies for a few pieces of clothing. They were allowed one toy inside the campers, and other outside toys that stayed outside. Also a favorite book. We homeschool and did most of our schooling in the library. At home during the day we took walks on our property, had picnics in the woods or by the pond.
I had one trash bag to collect dirty laundry, went to the laundry weekly. I cooked outside at the campfire, and we mainly ate from paper plates.
In a nutshell we tried not to collect stuff and kept our belongings to a limited number.
Now that we are in a big house we have more than we know what to do with. I sometimes miss the cramped living!
LORRAINE BRETZIN
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PLEASANTLY SURPRIZED
We live in a 1280 square foot home and just had our sixth child. When people see where we live one of the first questions they ask is, "How do you all fit?". Once they come inside, I think they are pleasantly surprised to see it's not as bad as they had imagined! It is a tight squeeze at times, especially when we have guests, but we have found several ways to keep organized and save space.
We are blessed to have 4 bedrooms. We do not keep toys in the bedrooms. It helps to keep the bedrooms neater and easier to clean if the toys are stored elsewhere. We keep most of our toys in a front hall closet that we modified. We removed the rod on which you hang coats and put in several shelves. The toys are organized in bins. For example, we have a storage bin for blocks, legos, toys cars, and trains. In general, we don't have a lot of toys. Our family only keeps the toys that are made to last and entertain the best, the rest is given away. Our couch has a storage bin under each cushion where we store toys that are rotated out every few weeks. This helps keep the clutter in the living room down while keeping the toys interesting. We don't have a lot of large toys. Those we do have are kept in the basement or for outside play.
Right now we have four boys, five and under, in one room. The room is of average size, about ten feet by ten feet. We have one twin size bed, two toddler beds, and a crib in their room. All the boys share one dresser and the closet. We have an additional rod to hang clothes below the original for extra hanging room. The closet is deeper than most so behind the hanging clothes are shelves that can be used to store clothes that don't fit in the dresser or out of season clothing. In the future, we plan on using bunk beds, but for safety reasons we decided against this right now. One great feature of living in an older home is a laundry chute. Our clothes go straight from the bathroom to the basement laundry area without having to sit around in baskets or hampers.
Our oldest daughter's room has a built in dresser/desk that is a great space saver. The dresser portion has six very large drawers, three on each end. The desk portion has two small drawers in the center where the chair, or even two, pushes in. This built in is the length of the room which is about ten feet so there is plenty of room for displaying special items and for doing schoolwork. The landing where our stairs go from the first floor to the second is a little wider than a normal hallway so we lined one wall with bookshelves for book storage. I keep some books for the children in the living area but most are kept on shelves. We rotate those as well to keep the little ones from getting bored with the same old books.
The area of our home where we feel most cramped is the kitchen. We have a small eat-in style kitchen. Our table seats six but since the kitchen is small we lose one seat having the table up against the wall. We bought a bench that matches our table, this holds three of our little ones at meal time. It has worked out great for our family. We will have to do some rearranging as the new baby grows and needs the high chair. Living in a colder climate means snowy shoes and coats need a place to go when you walk in the door. Unfortunately, we don't have a mud room or even a closet by our back entrance. Instead, we have a row of hooks behind the door where we hang our coats and a bench with an open bottom storage area where we put our shoes. The bench has a lid that opens as well, which is great for storing mittens and hats.
We keep only what we need and use on a regular basis in the living areas. All extras (toilet paper, diapers, out of season clothes, bulk foods) are kept in the basement where we can get to it but it isn't taking up precious space where we are most from day to day. I also think it helps to keep things picked up. We have several clean up times throughout the day and everyone helps. While our house may not always be perfectly clean, at least most of the time it is picked up. Before I go to bed each night I do one last check to make sure the living room, kitchen, and our only bathroom are straightened so we don't wake up in the morning to yesterday's mess. Every few months, we all work together as a family to get rid of the things we don't need and use. For our family, less clutter means more space.
SHELLY SHOWN
DePere, Wisconsin, USA
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Jerry and Shelly Shown are blessed with Rosalynn (15), Wesley (5), Elihu (3), Justus (3), Hayden (21 months), and Jeremy (newborn).
Many blessings. I’ll send some more next newsletter.
Nancy Campbell
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