Related Articles : Childbirth

I was pregnant with our fifth child and I began to bleed. After bleeding for two weeks I decided to go to the ER. I had hoped for an ultrasound, but they were too busy that night. They took a blood test and said my BETA numbers were 122xxx and told me to call a doctor the next day.

I called a doctor and two days later went to have more blood drawn. The next day I went back to the doctor. She told me that my numbers had dropped to 111xxx. She said this indicated a miscarriage and the need for an ultra sound. I was scared and kept praying. We went into the ultrasound room and she began to scan. We saw what looked to be a dead baby of about four to five weeks. There was no heart beat, just a dead form.

I was nine weeks at that time. She said the baby had died and gave me three options:

1. Take pills to complete the miscarriage.

2. Have a D&C.

3. Wait and let nature take its course.

I decided I would wait it out. That day ALL my bleeding stopped. Many people were very upset with me for not scheduling a D&C. They told me I could die or I could lose my uterus. I told them as long as I did not have a fever, I felt that I was fine. I felt at peace with my decision and continued to pray.

Many years ago I read an article called Protect Your Womb on the Above Rubies web site. From that point on I had started to pray for the health of my womb. This came to my mind many times during my wait. I leaned on the Lord and kept trusting.

Each day I waited for the cramping I knew would come. It never did. I was supposed to go back to the doctor after two weeks but one of my children had gotten sick. I didn’t make it back until four weeks later.

The day before I saw the doctor, I was talking to a lady at church, and told her nothing had happened and I was fearful the doctor would try to convince me to have a D&C. I really wanted to avoid that. She looked at me and said, “Do you think they were wrong? Do you think you could still be pregnant?” I had not thought of that. I saw the image on the ultrasound machine. I agreed with what the doctor had seen. At first I thought it was cruel of her to give me a small peace of hope. I couldn’t deal with my sadness and have this small hope too.

The next day I went to the doctor and the nurse asked what happened. “Nothing,” I said, “I have had no bleeding or cramping.”

“Maybe the baby is still there,” she replied. I began thinking, “No, don't put that in my mind.” The small piece of hope was there but I couldn’t let myself think of it. But what if?

The doctor came in, “So, nothing happened?” she said. I told her nothing had. She asked if I still had pregnancy symptoms. I had to think on that a moment because I hadn’t even thought of having symptoms. I had thought the baby died and that was it. But after a while I had to say, “Yes!”

“Let’s do an ultra sound,” she said. I told her there was no way for my dates to be off because I had an early positive pregnancy test and knew the date I conceived.

I lay down, barely able to breath. She scanned and exclaimed, “There is the baby's head!” She moved down a little, “I see two arms and they MOVED!” Then she saw the heartbeat! A HEARTBEAT! Can you believe it? I was shocked, thrilled and scared all at the same time. The baby was measuring 13 weeks, exactly where I was supposed to be!

As I left the office I broke down. I cried and praised the Lord, thanking Him for sparing my baby’s life. If I had chosen any other option but to wait, I would have killed my baby. I called my husband and he couldn’t believe it.

On July 14, 2005 I went in for my fifth c-section and my miracle baby was born. We named her Julianna Grace because God graciously spared her life.

After five c-sections I was curious about the shape of my uterus. I asked the doctor what my uterus looked like. He told me that it looked very good and he was surprised there was very little scar tissue after having five c-sections. I thanked the Lord. I know that my prayers for my womb had been answered.

ANNETTE WAY

Springfield, Missouri, USA

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Reese and Annette’s children are Audrey (14), Brionna (10), Amanda (7), Joseph (4), Julianna (18 months) and new baby Erica born January 2007.

Before I was married, I didn’t know much about parenting (my own family was abusive), and I knew even less about God. When our son was born, I fell in love with him instantly! Thankfully, I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and decided to try nursing, even though I had never seen it done before.

The only real ‘mothering’ experience I had was from babysitting a baby years ago. He had been formula-fed and was on a strict schedule, spending most of his time alone. What I remembered most about him was the awful way he would cry alone in the crib as I waited for him to fall asleep.

Soon every thought of returning to college left my mind as I held, nursed and carried my baby. I didn’t want to be away from him, and of course, he was happiest right next to me. He came everywhere with me and rarely ever left my arms. All I had to do was nurse him when he was fussy or tired and change him when he needed it. He loved to sleep with my husband and me.

When he was six weeks old I attended my first La Leche League meeting. I learned so much. I read studies that proved doing things naturally, such as breastfeeding on cue, was beneficial to both mom and baby.

I learned that carrying my baby provided him with better social development. I even learned that crib death is less common when babies sleep with their moms, and how doctors believe that the mom’s body acts as a pace-maker for her baby’s immature system. I was fascinated! I also met a wonderful Christian mom at LLL, who began planting seeds about God in my heart.

Two years later, my young son had a night where he couldn’t sleep. I sat up with him as my new baby daughter slept in bed with my husband. Suddenly I remembered a much neglected Gideon’s Bible that had been given to me years ago. The next few hours flew by as I devoured the precious words.

With my sleeping son by my side, I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. Just a few months later, my husband and I were both baptized in a local lake and started our new life together. God lovingly cared for me, His child, as I lovingly cared for my child.

Now that I knew God, the more I thought about mothering, the more excited I became. I realized the reason natural mothering works so well is because God designed it!

In the same way God designed our bodies to give birth naturally, He designed us to mother naturally. I felt like I had stumbled upon some ancient mystery, and I knew the reason behind all those happy babies and children at the LLL meetings. Whether their parents knew God or not, they were raising their babies according to His design and received the blessings for following His plan!

Isaiah 66:11-13 says, “For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the LORD says: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.’” (Emphasis added).

As a new Christian, I would sit with my new baby daughter for hours reading the Bible. I learned that God can use the Bible to teach us, not just with its words, but also by the people within its pages. As a mother, two of my favorite examples are Eve and Mary. Who better to look to as we mother our own children but “The mother of all living” and the mother of Christ himself?

God gave Eve everything she needed to do her job perfectly--breasts to nourish and comfort, arms to hold, a soft body to keep her little one warm at night, a voice to sing and teach, motherly instincts, and a loving heart. She lacked nothing.

I can envision her carrying her baby throughout the day, and the new family sleeping all curled up together at night, just as God intended. A beautiful picture of simplicity and love.

I love to think of Mary. All God does is good. He didn’t only choose a family for Jesus. He also chose a time and culture. God could have decided to send Jesus anytime, even today!

Could you see Jesus as a child in the schools today, riding the bus and playing video games? Or as a baby in His crib with a blankie, Mary hardening her heart as He “cried it out”? God had something much different in mind. He placed His son in a culture where every birth was natural, where moms kept their children close during the day, and where children nursed for years.      

Just like Eve, Mary had no clocks for feeding schedules, no bottles, no separate sleeping room for her baby, and no “experts” writing books claiming to have a better way to raise her baby. They listened to the one true Expert, our Lord Himself! I believe both mothers did what came naturally, following their God-given instincts and mothers’ hearts. They did not harden their hearts to their babies’ cries.

The Bible talks about the peacock who is deprived of wisdom and understanding because she is “hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers.” (Job 36:13-17)

Then there is Jesus Himself. In Luke 6:31 He tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Matthew 18:33, He said, “Shouldest not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” Jesus wants us to put other’s needs above our own.

In Matthew 25:35-45, He says, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing... And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.”

Who is the “least of these” more than a helpless baby or child? When He said to give a drink to the thirsty, certainly He includes our own baby, when he/she cries out for it.

God wants us to love our children the same way He loves us, and not forsake them in their time of helplessness. Listen to what the Bible says in Isaiah 49:15, “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” I will have to answer to God someday about how I cared for the “least of these” in my own home when they were in need. I want to be sure I did my best for Him.   

We live in a modern world, but this neither changes God’s design nor alters God’s best. God never changes. By mothering this way, I teach my children about God. I show them every moment how God is always available for us, how He does not abandon us when we need Him.

Just as we are dependant on God, God made babies dependant on us. We should seek to live out 1 Thessalonians 2:7, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”

Natural mothering is filled with all kinds of joy! I love the peace of falling asleep at night with my tiny nursing baby on one side and my husband’s strong arm wrapped around both of us. What better alarm clock in the morning, than a cooing baby who pats your cheek and squeals with delight when you open your eyes and look at him?

There is nothing like having your baby in your arms (or your sling) all day, always in your world, always learning and enjoying your closeness--and you don’t miss a smile or a laugh!

I have given birth four times so far. I admit that each time I have been very afraid of the pain as I tend to have very fast, intense births. So far, each birth I have placed my trust in something different. The first time, I trusted in man’s way which caused only pain and human intervention. All sorts of unnecessary machines and gadgets were used.

My second birth came, and this time I was sure I was prepared. I had read all the so-called “right” books, and had all the “knowledge” I needed. I was even at home--and in the water this time! Although it was a beautiful birth, it was only man’s knowledge, and the birth was still extremely painful. We need more than man’s small knowledge to birth and mother!

The third time I was again at home—and in the water. I read a book by a Christian author who said she had the right way to birth, if I would only follow her method. You guessed it. Another good but very painful birth. The baby was just over ten pounds, a lot to handle for my small frame!

As much as I wanted my fourth baby, I was afraid to go through the pain again. I turned whole-heartedly to the only place I had left. I turned to Jesus and things changed for me. I prayed more for this birth and new baby than any of the others, and depended only on Jesus. It worked!

When I heard my midwife say my baby was out, my first thought was “That was it?” It hurt, of course, but by depending on Jesus, for the first time it was completely and totally bearable and better than it had ever been before!

Like all of our homebirthed babies, he didn’t cry, and was happy, pink and alert. But unlike our other babies, this little one has not cried to this day! He has never had a tear in his eye. He is four months old now, and the most joyful baby we have ever had, full of smiles and laughs.

He has been in someone’s arms almost every single moment of his life. He baths in the big tub with me and sleeps skin-to-skin with me at night. He nurses when he needs to, and naps as I carry him through my day. We are totally connected. I have truly never been happier, nor had a happier baby!

God’s Word applies to all of life, including our mothering. We need to mother with what God gave us--love, our mother’s heart, our biology, our God-given instincts, and our baby’s signals. We need to stop listening to the many voices of the world and start listening to the only voice that matters.

God’s way is about the heart, the connectedness between moms and babies, rather than rules, so-called experts, and schedules. God’s way is about people, relationships, and love rather than outward things. Babies’ needs haven’t changed since the beginning of time, and neither has God.

AMIE GRAY    

Onalaska, Washington, USA

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Don and Amie have four children, Brodie (7), Hannah (5), Aden (2) and baby Elijah (4 months).

A woman posed this request: “I was just wondering how others decided that their family was complete and you finished having any more babies.”

After having three babies in less than four years (no twins!) I felt pretty “complete” and was not at all interested in being pregnant again any time soon. I was also in a season of struggle, fighting depression, failing in my roles as wife and mother, thoughts of suicide, life in a new area far from friends, family, or support systems, overweight and unhealthy.

I also had a list of other things that I felt were more important that I couldn’t do while pregnant or dragging infants and small children around all the time. In a way, I felt like I was compromising my health and wasting my life away by being pregnant and nursing all the time.  What about Quality vs. Quantity?

I approached the marriage bed with panic for fear of getting pregnant again. We tried barrier contraception but it caused me a lot of pain. Other methods were not an option, especially since I was still nursing and hadn’t had my return of cycles yet.  In lieu of abstinence I cried out to God for a solution, “Lord!  Please help us! What contraception should we use!?” 

He answered, “Trust Me.” That was not the answer I wanted. The last time I trusted God I got pregnant right away, and I wasn’t interested in being tricked into that again. I griped back to the Lord, “Aren’t my reasons good enough for You?”  But who am I to argue with God?  After some deliberation I decided to trust Him again and do nothing to prevent a pregnancy.

After my first two babies were born I got my cycles back when they were three months old.  Imagine my delight when five months had passed and I still wasn’t menstruating or pregnant!  My period came back at six months and seven months and I was rejoicing! 

It sure was worth it to trust the Lord!  I celebrated by taking a late Spring excursion to an amusement park to ride roller coasters all day while I still had the chance. I was supposed to get my period that day, but it never came. Two days later I took a home test and found out I was pregnant again.

I was so mad!  Shaking my fist at the Lord I yelled, "You told me to trust You, and I DID! Now look what You've done! Why do You insist on keeping me down and miserable? You are NOT the God I thought You were!"

No He wasn't! So tell me, who's problem is that?

As evil as it sounds, and as evil as it truly is, deep down inside I was half hoping for a miscarriage. I felt horrible, my life was a mess, I hated everything and everyone, I was seeing a counselor, my circumstances only got worse, and I just wanted to end it all!

But as I went along I accepted my pregnancy and dealt with it, holding on to the only shred of truth that I could: that God told me to trust Him, and I obeyed. Somehow He is going to work it out. He has to!  There’s no other hope!

As the months progressed I pondered all that I had learned but not yet accepted. It says in the Bible, "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior so are the children of one's youth. Happy is he who's quiver is full of them." I was sitting with a group of ladies one day discussing birth control--one with a vasectomized husband, no family size larger than three children. The agreement was that their quiver was full for them.

"Six children might be a full quiver for you. My fill line is at three!"

I piped up and said, "Well, if I were out in the woods when suddenly surrounded by a violent grizzly bear four times my size ready to eat me up in one gulp, I would want more than three arrows in my quiver to fight him off. In fact, I'd want as many as I could get!"

I know many older families who stopped at three children because they decided their family was complete with that many. Three beautiful young adults, all in a row, praising the Lord, standing up against abortion, encouraging youth, and doing mighty things for Jesus. If they hadn't stopped at three there could have been twice, or maybe even three times the amount of children in their family added to the Army of God.

When the next generation of children rises up to run my country and make decisions on my behalf, and on behalf of my children, grandchildren, and so on—a generation of God-less, self- indulgent, misdirected, unloved, spoiled rotten, traumatized, numb, lazy, video-gaming, immature, fatherless children with little sense of moral obligation—how many God-fearing, Christian young adults would I want to balance it out?

Should I contribute only three, stop there, and then carry on with my life of vanity and grasping for the wind? Or should I look beyond my limited, present view, and make an investment into the future of generations that will follow after me?

The Lord said: Lean not on your own understanding. Once I finally laid aside what I thought was right for me, He had opportunity to put in what was right according to Him!

Now I hug my tummy and bless the Lord for this pregnancy. I sure wasn't thanking Him the first four months! But I was obedient. And in the end I'm so thankful I didn't make the mistake of ending it all (not just my life, but the lives of future children).

In the heat of hopelessness, we make very unwise choices. They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength!

Did the United States only train up 1,000 soldiers? Or did we not become the strongest military in the world, with hundreds of thousands of able men? As a military family I see where our military is going from an insider's perspective.

Even the military is buying in to “Sangerism” by scrapping ships, shutting down military bases, selling off their military housing to private management, and even paying some servicemen to leave to downsize areas that seem too full. All this in the name of “saving money.” But the military is birth-controlling and aborting itself into weakness. And so is God's church.

After sharing my testimony with the woman who asked for personal experience, in closing I said: So that's my story about me deciding when my family was complete! Probably not exactly what you were hoping to hear. Join the club!

ANGELA SUNDARAMURTHY

  
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As we prayed for our nation in a corporate prayer meeting recently, the words, “Take Charge” came to my mind. Take charge of what? God shows us this clearly from the beginning of creation. In the first chapter of the Bible He gives a charge. What is this charge? It is the first words God ever spoke to ears of man, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion…”

To whom did God speak these words? Was it to the leader of a nation? Was it to a certain political party? Was it to the ministers and pastors of churches? No. It was to a man and wife and the children God would give them. It was a family charge.

As we see our nation turning away from God to humanistic philosophies and our political parties becoming more and more liberal we despair for righteousness to rule in the nation. However, I believe we must take our focus off trusting in a certain leader or a certain political party. We must come back to where God started. And that is with the family! God told a family to take charge of the earth.

When we relinquish God’s mandate,

the enemy takes charge!

The more families give up the mandate God has given them and release their responsibilities to government and organizations, the weaker the family becomes--and the weaker the nation becomes. A nation is as strong as its families. Families are God’s plan for living. Committed families are God’s plan for a prosperous nation.

But we have to do it God’s way. God did not leave us ignorant. He showed the plan in the first few chapters of Genesis. He showed us that it starts with the marriage where the man “shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (2:24) God wants a husband and wife to be one, not two separate entities doing their own thing, but one—one flesh, one spirit and one purpose. We must work to make our marriage strong. We must put aside selfishness, independence and our own agenda and commit to help our husbands fulfill the charge God has given us. To fulfill this world-encompassing Genesis command we cannot be anything else than positive, uplifting, committed and encouraging supporters!

God uses the word "help meet" to describe His plan for wives. The word meet is the Hebrew word neged and means 'part opposite, counterpart, mate, in front of.' In other words, she is opposite to man, but fits him perfectly like a glove. The word help is the Hebrew word ezer which means 'helper, to come to the aid of'. The amazing thing is that it is the same Hebrew word that is used when it speaks of God being our help! For example, “God is our help and shield." (Psalm 33:20)

Even more amazing is that the word ezer is first used regarding a wife, before it is used regarding God! In "the law of the first mention" the word help is given to a wife!  We reveal the image of God when we help our husband and submit to his covering and leadership.

Worldly philosophy laughs at submission. It despises commitment and laying down your life for another. But what is the result? A harvest of failed marriages and hurting children. It’s time we committed to God’s way, the one who planned it in the first place. The devil’s independent way always brings destruction; God’s way is life and happiness.

The feminist agenda woos mothers out of the home. They are led to believe they have more important things to accomplish than to make their home a loving sanctuary and to raise and nurture the children God gives them. Once again, this is the enemy’s plan to weaken the family unit and to cross purposes with God.

The devil would rather have children raised in day care centers than in the home. This way he can sow seeds of deception in their minds from a young age.The more he can incite mothers to follow their own careers rather than the highest calling God has given to them, the more he can steer the new generation into his deviant thinking. This is already happening. Even many Christian women have imbibed the thinking of the world rather than God’s eternal Word.

Parenting is also weakened. Many fathers have forgotten their responsibility of fathering, the highest calling that God has given to a man. When fathers abdicate their mandate to provide, protect and lead their families in the ways of God, the family declines. When mothers leave their homes and relegate motherhood to a subsidiary part of their lives, the nation wanes.

The first home that God created was called Eden, which means “delight”. The first home was a prototype of all homes to come. God wants our homes to be a delightful place, a place where everyone loves to be, a place where we experience the presence of God; a place where we nurture and train our children and prepare them for life. God wants the Eden home to be spread across the world. He wants us to take dominion over all deception and evil and spread God’s love, truth, joy and salvation across the earth.

He wants us to have His vision--His vision for life, love and family. God loves life. The first charge to families is to be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth. God wants the earth to be filled with the godly seed, children who reveal His character. When we limit the number of children we have, we limit the image of God in the earth. We limit what God wants to do. Because God’s people have listened to the deceiving enemy and limited their children, the world is now bereft of millions of godly children who could be filling the nations with His glory. The devil has succeeded and is laughing up his sleeve! We have been sucked into his lies, we are weakened, and we have given up the Genesis charge.

Finis Dake comments on Psalm 127:3-5, “Each child will in the process of time be a defense, support and propagation of the eternal reproduction of man and fulfillment of the plan of God for man. The more arrows one has, the more enemies he will slay, the more powerful will he be in the earth. The more children born and saved to help God administer the affairs of the eternal plan for man, the more reward God will have.”

It is an undisputed fact that the people who obey God’s mandate to be fruitful and multiply are the people who will subdue and take dominion. Before dominion comes multiplication. It is an eternal law. If we as God’s people want to multiply God’s ways across the world, we must first be fruitful! Currently, the Islamic people are outnumbering western civilizations seven to one! They are on their way to taking dominion, unless we wake up!

We are to be on the offensive, not the defensive!

The early Christians not only embraced the children God wanted to give them, but they gathered abandoned children, took them into their homes and raised them for God. This should be the philosophy of all God’s people. We are to be on the offensive, not the defensive. We are to take charge. We are to embrace the children God will give us because they will help us in this great task of spreading God’s love and salvation across the earth. But we also need to take charge of the needs in this world—the widows, the orphans and the deprived. We can gather an orphan into our home, sponsor an orphan, or help another family to financially adopt an orphan. This is pure religion and undefiled. This is taking dominion. 

Instead of relying on government agencies to help us out, we need to strengthen our marriages and families. It’s time for families to take charge again. It is time to strengthen our marriages, strengthen our families and fulfill the mandate God has given us. Strong, healthy families are God’s answer to the nation’s needs.

NANCY CAMPBELL

I turned on the news the other day and a book flashed onto the screen, “Better to be Single than Sorry”. The author, a thirty year old woman, told the reporter that now that she is no longer in her twenties, she has “wizened up”. She doesn't need a man to be happy. So far she has turned down three marriage proposals. When asked why, she responded that she'd rather be single than start a family with Mr. Okay instead of Mr. Right.

More and more women are delaying marriage or deciding against it altogether. Fifty one percent of women in the United States are now single. This is a record high.

Why are women less anxious to get married these days? The author thinks it is largely because women are more educated. Right now, women outnumber men in colleges by 1.3 to one. They can provide for themselves just as well as a man can and this independence often pushes marriage out of their plans. Men are simply not living up to their standards.

The news item then flashed to footage of  the author talking and laughing with her single girlfriends at a restaurant. The underlying message was that she had chosen the right path.

I felt very sorry for this woman and for all those who will read her book. The sweet  memory of my husband's kiss goodbye that morning as he left for work still lingered with me. I remembered how safe and warm our home felt the night before when he arrived home and the children rushed to climb all over him. It felt wonderful to snuggle on the couch together after the children were in bed and laugh as we talked about their antics during the day.

The aforementioned author will be waiting a long time for Mr. Perfect and it is more  likely he will never show. Will she still be smiling so much when she is forty and childless? What about when she is fifty and all alone? Will she regret her decision to be single when she is sixty and wonders what might have been had she accepted one of those marriage proposals?

Every man has his flaws, as we all do. Even a “Mr. Right” can appear to turn into “Mr. Okay” after a few years of marriage. The divorce rate reflects this. God's plan is the only one that works. If we learn to do as Ephesians chapter five outlines and  'honor our husbands'  rather than putting them on a measuring stick, we enable the Mr. Right inside them to stick around.

Of course we shouldn't jump into marriage. It is a prayerful decision and there are exceptions like Mother Theresa who devoted her life to nurturing orphans. This doesn't change God's plan for us from the very beginning.

God told us in Genesis, chapter one that a man and woman would become one flesh. He knows what's best for us. Our bodies were designed to bear children. With more women staying single, there are a record number of women in this country who are childless.  According to a recent census, women with higher incomes have the highest childless rates. Bearing children, especially before the age of 24 offers long term protection against many reproductive diseases. Uh-Oh, the average age for first time childbirth is now above 25. This average has jumped up three years in a little over a decade alone.

The results are starting to come in--reproductive cancers are rising and ovarian cancer is soaring to alarming rates. The failure to experience lactation and childbirth appears to cause malfunctions which frequently result in health problems for women later in life. The U.S. Health Department declares childbirth as the most important known factor in preventing ovarian cancer. Women who have never had children are twice as likely to develop ovarian cancer. The more full term births a woman has, the lower her risk for this disease.

This is also true for breast cancer. Women who are more likely to delay childbirth by pursuing careers have higher breast cancer risks than their counterparts. Women who breast feed for at least two years cut their breast cancer risks by about half. Their risks go down for every following birth and year of breast feeding. Any woman who has breastfed for seven years out of her life decreases her risk for breast cancer by more than ninety percent.  

Studies also reveal that having few or no children is a risk for endometrial cancer. Women in underdeveloped nations who frequently have six or seven children rarely get this disease. A recent study at Harvard School of Public Health has found that women who have had three or more children have nearly 40 percent less risk of lung cancer, whether they smoke or not. The risk for lung cancer also declines with the increasing number of births a woman has.

1 Timothy 2 15 makes more sense than ever before when it says, “Women shall be saved in childbearing.” Once again, science proves God's Word true.

Childbirth has also been shown to have a positive impact on women's mental health. A 1992 Canadian study that examined more than a thousand women found that married women with children had the highest levels of psychological well being compared to women who did not have children. The researcher concluded that “Childless women don't really get much out of giving up having children.”

With all the voices out there saying marriage isn't worth it, I'd like to offer my own. “Oh, yes it is,” I say. Sure, there are times when it is challenging, but anything good requires some work. Why would anyone want to give up such a precious gift?  Not only does it make sense, it is truly rewarding. Here are five things I love about being married.

1. Being loved.  

I think we take this one too lightly. Let's give it the respect it deserves. When someone chooses to love you above all others and cling to you for the rest of your life, this is no small thing. In a sense, it is a miracle in itself. To think my husband chose to love me out of every other woman in the world! I could have happy thoughts all day dwelling on this point alone. To think he would even lay his life down for me! That is a God-given love from a man to his wife. It is something to be grateful for and handle with care.

2. Having a Protector.  

I'll admit that sometimes I feel like my husband is a little too protecting. He can't stand for me to be home late if I have to go out in the evening. The frown on his face when I get home says it all. He doesn't like not being there to physically protect me from danger. This protective instinct is another God-given gift that husbands offer their wives. The security a husband gives to his wife and children is the perfect buffer from the perils of this world. I know I should accept this instinct with a little more grace..

3. Having a Warm Bed Partner.

There is nothing I love more than going to sleep and feeling my husband’s arms around me. I pity any woman who values drinks with friends more than this. I can't say my husband is my only bed partner though. We still have a couple of  little ones who like to join us in the middle of the night. But when we are alone, our bed can be a pretty exciting place. The passing years have only made this better.

4. Having a Provider.

While I may be capable of providing for myself and my children, I am glad my husband is willing to assume this important role. I have the freedom to stay home and answer only to him. I know some men love their job. Many others, like my husband, commit themselves day after day for the sake of their families. My husband drives well over an hour each way to and from work. I'm thankful he loves us enough to do this so I can be home with the children. If not for us, he would simply go back to being a road musician. We know we are worth a lot to him for that sort of sacrifice.

5. Having a Best Friend.

I was one of the many who presumed having a best friend in a husband would be something quite different to what it is. I imagined many hours of soul talk where we would share our deepest emotions. We would shop happily together and discuss in dreamy detail the way we would decorate our home. It makes me giggle now to remember my dreams. Aside from expressing his love for me, I don't believe my husband has ever talked about his emotions in our thirteen years of marriage. Sometimes I wonder if he has any. But then, I probably have enough for both of us. Still, I would rather spend my time with him than anybody else, even if we don't talk about shades of taupe on walls. As a best friend, my husband is a wise counselor, a listener, a comforter, a source of encouragement, and he still makes me laugh.

Would I give all this up to be single? I'd have to be crazy!

PEARL BARRETT

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

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My husband, Justin, and I have now been married for 13 years. We did not start out "the perfect Christian couple" in any way shape or form. I brought to our marriage my son, whom I had when I was 17 and my husband adopted him.

I decided to use Depo-Provera as my choice of birth control which caused suicidal thoughts and depression. It was a huge mistake. We both agreed to have a baby and our first was born two years later. From there it became, “pick my birth control” until God put it on my heart to have another baby. This was the process until we had our sixth.  Justin said he thought we had enough children. Six was a lot!  

We started attending a new church and learned that a cousin of Justin's also went there. In conversation one night with his wife, she told me how she had gotten her tubes tied and it was the biggest mistake of her life. She talked of living a life governed by God and having as many children as God gave you. I was blown away! I had never heard anyone say such things! Justin and I went home and talked about it and agreed that we were not living our lives to the fullest.

My next pregnancy, which came only a couple months after getting off birth control, ended at eight weeks. During my grief, the Lord encouraged me that He would restore my joy, but I did not think He could because the pain was too great. Then Alyssa was born. I looked at her and I exclaimed, "You did it! You did just as you said. You have restored my joy!" There was no stopping my faith!

When Alyssa was 11 months old I became pregnant again. I couldn't have been happier! At 12 weeks I started bleeding. The hospital staff had no idea what was going on and sent me home. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and went to bed early. Justin came in with a fire in his eyes I hadn't seen in awhile. He said he'd been praying and God told him that the enemy was trying to take our baby, but he would be okay." I slept better than I had in a long time. My husband and my God had it taken care of.

A few days later out of the blue, the name Isaiah came to my mind. It means "saved by God". Justin liked it too. I knew that was his name, but we hadn't yet see the worst.

Isaiah was born three months early at 28 weeks. I barely made it back to the hospital after being sent home only two hours earlier. It was the most painful, terrifying birth I've had. He was transferred immediately to a bigger hospital where, after several hours of waiting, a doctor told us, "He is in respiratory failure; his heart beat is over 220 beats per minute. We think he is going to die. You need to come back now."

As we approached his bedside, I first noticed that he looked gray. Thoughts flashed through my mind, “How am I going to tell the children? They barely handled it when we lost the baby. I don't know if they can handle this. I don't even know how to bury a baby. I guess we could bury him next to Grandma Great.” Then it was as if God smacked me with a 2x4. I looked at Justin, who had tears streaming down his face, and told him, "Go and tell our parents to start praying."

I started praying over this baby like I had never prayed before. Hebrews 11:1 came to my mind, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” What happened next was nothing less than a miracle. I watched our son go from gray to pink. His lifeless body began to work with the ventilator and his heartbeat slowed.

After 10 longs weeks at the NICU, while my children were passed from here to there, we came home. He was on a monitor and oxygen because of pulmonary hypertension. On December 13th, 2006 we got to call Tim (our oxygen guy!) and tell him to come get his tanks, it was nice knowing him, but hoped to never see him again under those circumstances!

As his birthday approached I began to have panic attacks as vivid accounts came rushing back to me. I threw the biggest party I could; just to have the celebration out-weigh my inner pain.

Isaiah is now 15 months old and, aside from his size, you'd never guess he was a micro-preemie. He still doesn't walk yet or even pull himself up to stand. But I know this isn't because there is something wrong, it is because he doesn't want to. He never learned to crawl, but he butt-scoots! He can go unbelievably fast. Trying to stand up and walk is just way too slow!

I look at him and can't stop thanking God for His mercy, His greatness, and His faithfulness. I would like to put together stories from others who have been through similar experiences and can testify to God’s greatness and love! I would like to put a copy of each book in every NICU so that other parents can gain hope and encouragement. If you have a story, please feel free to email me!

HEATHER POWELL

Fostoria, Ohio, USA

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Justin and Heather’s children are Britton (15), Devon (11), Trinity (10), Kilian (8), Arianna (6), Ceara (4), Alyssa (2), Isaiah (15 months) and baby due December 2007.

“Will he know the difference?” he asked. “Please don’t tell him, Mommy.”     

It was a precious moment. My 11 year old son, Isaiah, and Shepherd Colin, our little miracle baby (born at 33 weeks gestation) and I were sitting on the oversized rocking chair together, staring at our beautiful new gift of life. All the ten children had loved seeing the baby grow in my tummy and reveled in the times when they saw him kicking and rolling around. It was enshrouded in mystery. We didn’t find out the gender of our baby until he was born as the children enjoyed the competition between the two teams. We had five girls and five boys and the new arrival would be the makings of the winning team.

It was amazing to think that this was the darling baby we had grown to love and anticipate during my pregnancy. We were both enraptured with Shepherd’s gorgeous little face when Isaiah said something that caught me off guard.

“Is he going to know, Mommy?”

“Know what?” I asked.

“Are you going to tell him, Mommy?”

“Tell him what?” I said. He was so earnest with his questions. He kept enquiring and didn’t answer mine.

“But will he know the difference?” he asked again.

“What difference?” He still didn’t answer but kept talking, taken up with the notions turning in his head.

“Maybe, Mommy, he won’t notice, because I have always been here since he came into the world.”  I started to see through the fog of what was on his mind.

“Mommy, where will he think that I get my dark skin? He continued questioning.

“He will think you got your beautiful dark skin the same place he got his light skin--from God and the heart of His creativity. It is boring for everyone to be the same as one another. I am so glad we have different colors in our family because God has different colors amongst His children.”

Isaiah had told me in the past that he did not like the word “adoption” when referring to himself. It made him feel too new and different. I now knew exactly what was on his mind.

“Isaiah,” I said, “I don’t see any difference between you and baby Shep. You may look different, but that is the fun part. Vision looks nothing like Mommy or Daddy with his flaming red hair, green eyes and turned up nose. I don’t love my children because they look like me. I love them because they are mine. Whether you became mine by adoption or pregnancy doesn’t matter to me. Adoption and pregnancy are just words, words that have the same outcome, words for the way you arrived and became mine. Whether someone took the bus, rode in a car, went by ship or flew in a plane—it’s all minor transportation details.

“Isaiah, before the beginning of time, God planned for you to be my precious child, to love, train and hold in my heart forever. He decided this for Shepherd too. You are both equally mine and equally adored. Whether you grew in my tummy or inside my heart, it doesn’t matter to me.

“Shepherd grew in my womb for almost nine months but you grew in my heart for nine months. To get you here in my arms was a long and rocky process. My daily thoughts were weaved with longing prayers for you. My heart swelled, grew and beat for you. My heart was pregnant with you. It held a bulging love that kept growing until it burst open and the dream of you became a reality when I first saw your face. All that matters to me is that you are mine. All eleven of my beautiful gifts from God are equally anticipated and celebrated. God wrapped some of you up differently. But the wrapping doesn’t matter, does it? It is the gift you care about.

“To answer your question, Baby Shep will know no difference. He will only know that he has a cool, good-looking muscularly African brother that he will look up to and want to be like. The fact that you were adopted, Isaiah, is a minor detail.”    

Isaiah gave the baby a gentle, but fervent hug, and ran off to play with a new spring in his step and the excitement of a new brother to love.

When I am grocery shopping, or out and about in town, and a well-meaning on-looker sees my crowd trailing behind and ask if I run a youth group or am a nanny of many, I say, “No, these are all my children.”

Sometimes they ask, “But which ones are really yours? I am sure you know my answer, “They are all mine, and there is no difference.”

SERENE ALLISON

Primm Springs, Tennessee, USA

TEXAS RETREAT

Last weekend we enjoyed a wonderful Above Rubies retreat in Texas with nearly 200 ladies. Pearl and Meadow came to sing and blessed all the women. Meadow sings like a nightingale.

There was not a dry eye as they sang the most beautiful song Pearl wrote last week about a daughter and her daddy.  I’ll have to let you in on the words.

After Serene and Pearl (or Pearl and Meadow) sing at the retreats, the women are desperate for their CD’s. This time, they didn’t ask for this song to be on the next CD. They were demanding it!

NO. 70 ABOVE RUBIES

If you live in America, you will have received your new Above Rubies, #70 by now. I know that you will have been blessed and inspired by this issue.

SHORT-CHANGED!

By the way, if you are on the Mailing List to receive eight or ten copies, you will have only received six copies this time. The reason is that this issue of Above Rubies was printed on slightly heavier paper and we could only fit six magazines in the package to be accepted as bulk rate.

However, we don’t want you to miss out. If you have already given out all your magazines, you are welcome to call, email or write for more. Please state how many you need and don’t forget to write your mailing address. If you are emailing, please put MORE ABOVE RUBIES in the subject heading. Email: NANCY

Our vision is to get Above Rubies to every home in the nation. You can help by sharing them with your friends, neighbors and church families. I like to carry a few Above Rubies in a plastic bag (so they don’t get tattered and torn) in my handbag wherever I go. I never fail to meet people who are always blessed to receive them. One of my favorite places to share them is in supermarkets.

OUR CHILDREN HAVE ARRIVED!

We have now embarked on a new venture in life. After raising our children and being blessed with 34 grandchildren (our oldest grand-daughter is now 20 years), we have started again! On the 26 March Colin brought home three of our four children from Liberia, West Africa. Psalm, Sapphire and John are all 16 years. They are settling in well and are delightful children. Of course, they have lots of things to learn about living in a family which gives us many challenges.  But that is how God planned for children to be trained and nurtured—in a family!

Mercy (14 years) is hopefully coming soon. Just before Colin left for Liberia, we heard that her adoption had been dissolved. We felt very sad for her and decided to embrace her into our family too.

SERENE’S NEW BABY ARRIVED 28 MARCH!

Monday evening we had a big welcome gathering at the airport to welcome John, Psalm and Sapphire. Tuesday night Serene started to bleed and Sam rushed her to the Dickson hospital. She was only 33 weeks! They were not able to find out why she was bleeding and so she was taken by ambulance to the Women’s Centennial hospital in Nashville. Before they could start further ultra sounds Wednesday morning she was really in labor and there was no stopping (she had already been on bed rest for a couple of weeks and had had two false alarms).

Colin dropped me at the hospital while he took the new children shopping. God was good to us. Although we were in a high-risk hospital, we ended up having the most beautiful natural birth, just as if we were at home. Serene’s midwife, Heather, was present, plus her husband Sam and her two oldest daughters from Liberia (Selah and Kula), and myself. Serene was able to labor restfully. The two nurses left us on our own for most of the time and we all enjoyed the birth as we would at home.

She had a beautiful natural birth as Serene usually does, with long periods of rest between contractions right up until the end (this is how she births). The head came before the doctor even arrived. Amongst all the mothers at the NICU, Serene was the only one who didn’t have to have a c-section. She felt very blessed.

Although a premature baby, he weighed 5 lbs. 11oz (I think (he would have been a big ten plus pounds at full term). He was healthy, but of course was whisked immediately away to be put on oxygen and everything else he needed. He was in the intensive care unit for over two weeks but I was able to bring them home on Friday 13th. He is doing well.

We still do not know why he wanted to come early, although we think it was because Serene was exercising too much. Those of you who know her, know that she never does anything by halves! Each day she walked for an hour, but not normal walking. She walked up steep hills and the hill by her home is nearly vertical! I think she has learned her lesson and will be more moderate next time!

They have named the baby, Shepherd Colin, after Serene’s grandfather and her father. Her grandfather in New Zealand is a shepherd of sheep (and was the world’s fastest shearer in the world in his younger days) and after my husband, Colin,  who is a shepherd of people. Shepherd is now their eleventh child, although their fifth biologically. He is a little brother to Selah, Kula, Jabin, Isaiah, Arden, Chalice, Cherish, Cedar, Engedi and Vision.

Selah and Kula held the fort while Serene was in the hospital. They are amazing girls. They keep the home spic and span, cook all the meals and carefully watch over the younger children. Selah is like a second mother to little Vision and he sleeps with her every night. She even potty trained him for Serene.

EVANGELINE’S BABY HAS ARRIVED TOO!

Evangeline gave birth to her baby on Thursday morning, 19 April. She had a very quick and wonderful birth! She is already bursting with energy. I popped over to her home today (23rd) and she had cultured two gallon jars of vegetables, made her butter, had the supper on and had other nuts and foods soaking and preparing! Wow! How do I get her to rest?

We are still waiting for a name for this beautiful little girl. She is a sister to Zadok, Sharar, Rashida, Crusoe, Jireh, Arrow, Tiveria and Sahara.

A MINI ABOVE RUBIES SEMINAR IN YOUR HOME

Maybe you have longed to attend an Above Rubies retreat, but you have never been able to make it or they have been too far away from you. You now have the opportunity to have a mini Above Rubies seminar in your home or church. A series of four messages, RECLAIMING GODS’ PLAN FOR WOMEN , which I shared in Pensacola last fall were filmed and are now available on DVD for you.

You may like to invite some women into your home or your church to have a day seminar. Or you could make it a weekly event for a month. Invite women into your home to watch one message on DVD, then have a pot-luck meal together to fellowship with one another and discuss and talk about the message. You could do this for four weeks to hear the four messages.

Wow! For only $30.00 you could influence and bless so many women! What an opportunity.

You can order these four DVD’s from Above Rubies by sending a check,

going to the Above Rubies shop on the new Above Rubies web page: RECLAIMING GOD'S PLAN FOR WOMEN

or you can call to order by credit card at 1 877 729 9861 only between 9.00 am and 5.00 pm M-F, central time

Overseas readers can order by International PayPal.

TOLL FREE NUMBER

 Don’t forget that Above Rubies now has a toll free number – 1 877 729 9861. Call only between 9.00 am and 5.00 pm central time.  

STORIES FOR NEW MAGAZINE

I must now start editing the new edition of Above Rubies. If you have a special testimony that you know would bless many women, you are welcome to email it to me. Please type only one space between sentences (this is most important) and send it by attachment to NANCY

Also give the following information:

            Your husband’s name

            The names and ages of your children        

            The city, state and country in which you live

NURSING STORIES

I would love to do a feature on NURSING STORES, especially the different names that you or your little ones have called the breast. There are lots of cute names and stories. I’ll look forward to hearing them. Put NURSING STORES in the Subject Heading.

 SPANISH ARTICLES

We have a number of Above Rubies articles and devotions translated into Spanish. If you speak Spanish, or you have friends who speak Spanish, and you would like to share articles with them, you can:

1)     Contact me at NANCY and put SPANISH ARTICLES in the Subject Heading. Or…

2)     Write to Above Rubies and enclose a SASE.

These are the following articles that we have available for you:

Articles from Above Rubies:

TRAINING CHILDREN TO WORK by Karen Fehr, Canada.

            Translated from Above Rubies # 61.

A FRESS APPROACH TO HOMESCHOOLING by Pat Wesolowski.

            Translated from Above Rubies # 61

FIVE COATS by Hannah Babiak.

            Translated from Above Rubies # 64.

MEET THE ARNDT FAMILY (The beautiful story of this family of 14 children!)            

            Translated from Above Rubies # 64.

WOLRD MISSIONS AT MY TABLE by Kimberly Eddy.

            Translated from Above Rubies # 64.

IDEAS AND PROJECTS FOR YOUR CHILDREN by Victoria Purdue, Australia.

            Translated from Above Rubies # 64.

Devotions:

THE SECRET OF GOD (Enjoying the presence of God in your home) by Nancy Campbell

THE WARMTH OF A SMILE by Nancy Campbell

TOWN AND COUNTRY by Nancy Campbell

TRABAJO BIEN HECHO by Nancy Campbell (I haven’t a clue what this title is  in English!)

Other Articles:

The following articles that I have writen have also been translated into Spanish, but I don’t know their English translations:

LAS HIJAS DE SARA

PROMESAS PARA NUESTROS HIJOS

EL VALOR  DE LA VIDA SEGÚN DIOS

COMO FUNCIONAN LAS VACUNAS

NEW CONTACT FOR RED PALM OIL

Unfortunately, the contact for the Red Palm Oil which was advertised in Above Rubies # 66 is no longer in service. However, you can order your palm oil from:

CHARITY CALLIS, www.thehomegrownfamily.com

Toll Free 1 (877) 841-2861

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COCONUT OIL

You can also purchase coconut oil and associated products from Charity. By the way, here is a most delicious chocolate recipe from Charity. I have tried it and it’s wonderful.

SUPER (healthy) Coconut Almond Fudge

1/2  c.  virgin organic coconut oil*

1/2  c.  coconut cream concentrate*

3/4 c.  carob powder

1/4 c.  raw almond butter

1/4 c.  raw honey (Sage is our favorite)

1    T.  vanilla

Place all ingredients in a glass container and set in simmering water

until melted if needed.  Mix together well.  Spread thick paste mixture

on a piece of buttered parchment paper or 8x8 pan; allow to cool in

refrigerator or freezer.  Remove and serve immediately.

*Ingredients available at www.TheHomeGrownFamily.com

Love from The Callis Family

Brian & Charity and children, Jimella, Eden, Philip, David, Mark, Abigail,

Meorah, Merry, Titus & Hope.

ERGO BABY CARRIER

You can also purchase the Ergo Baby Carrier from Charity. You will remember Serene wrote about the Ergo in Above Rubies # 64.You can do all your shopping at the same time.

BREASTMILK FOR AFRICAN BABIES

From Anita Jessup, This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

I found this website and thought it might interest some of the readers.

http://www.breastmilkproject.org/

CANADIAN CORRECTION

Marie Ferreira now receives the new subscriptions for Above Rubies for Canada. Her address is incorrect in the latest magazine. Here is her correct address:

C34 - 3545 E 43rd Ave, Vancouver, BC V5R 5X5

Or you can email her at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

HOUSE BURNED DOWN

At the beginning of this month, Colin and I and the children drove to Wisconsin to speak at the annual Above Rubies Family Camp. It was a wonderful camp, meeting new families and enjoying fellowship with families who come year after year. It certainly is a special annual event.

A mother was with us this year who has adopted 19 children—and has just found out that she is expecting her first biological child! How amazing. They said she could never have children. We were excited to hear about this. But just after the retreat we received the news that their house burned down. They got out of the house in two minutes with only their pajamas on. Their greatest need is prayer but if God touches your heart to help them in any way, you can mail things to their church:

Oakhill Baptist Church, Hwy 169 S, Humboldt, IA 50548
Or contact Lynn who can forward the NEEDS LIST
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TRIPLETS FOR ADOPTION

Diana Bramble writes:
We have just been notified about healthy newborn TRIPLETS in Guatemala that need to be placed. The Guatemala program is rocky right now, and triplet girls would be an extremely expensive adoption. It would take a very special family to take these children, but I am asking you to help get word out.
 
There is no way that this birth mother could afford to keep three babies, and we want to do everything we can to help keep these children together. I am happy to answer questions at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
 

Many blessings and love from

NANCY CAMPBELL

Why does my baby want to Suck all the Time? 

I was full of great intentions as I set out to nurse my first baby—well over forty years ago! My mother was by my side to encourage me in the way she thought best—to feed my baby on a four-hourly schedule. But sadly, this way brought me heartache and frustration. Every time my baby woke before the four hours were up, I paced the floor in agony waiting to feed him. My heart ached while my baby cried. I was a desperate mother. And I ran out of milk! With such a little amount of sucking, there was no way to keep up a good milk supply. By the time my baby was three months, I was well on the way to weaning, plus feeding him as many solids as I could to fill him up. I felt a failure!

Is Your Thinking Correct?

After my miscarriage, I conceived three months later. I was so happy, but completely overwhelmed with fear. I was paralyzed. I didn’t want to move in case I lost the baby. I was so afraid of losing another baby.  In a desperate prayer to God, I told Him I didn’t want to fear and have all my joy suffocated in its clutches.

He answered me with perfect peace and engraved this message in my heart.  “I don’t have to fear, and I don’t need to fear, for I am in the grip of His hand forever more” I knew from then on that my future was in God’s hands and He wants the best for me. Even when it doesn’t go as I have planned, God has a bigger vision in mind. 

It was a wonderful fear-free pregnancy and I gave birth to a healthy baby girl named Chalice Hosanna, meaning “a beautiful vessel of praise unto God.”

 SERENE ALLISON

I suspect that every woman feels the same way I do when the weeks turn into days and the moment of birth is not far away. All I can think about is seeing this new little baby. What will it look like? My arms ache to hold it. Although I know there will be pain in the delivery, I still long for the moment to arrive. The anticipation pushes the fear away.

I don’t know how anyone can experience birth, or even witness a birth, and deny there is a God. It is the miracle of all miracles. The big bang theory just doesn’t cut it when you see that new life slip out and stare wide-eyed at his new world. It is so evident and so absolutely convincing that there is a Creator. How wonderful that we can have a relationship with Him.

I love to talk about birth and hear other woman’s birth stories. This song is the story of my third birth. How beautiful it was. I couldn’t stop thanking my Lord for this experience and for the new life he’d given to my husband and me.

 Pearl Barrett

Our two children were born March 13, 1981 and December 26, 1982. They were very ill from the day they were born, causing us to resent them just a little. We had never really known a family that truly nurtured their children; thus we had no example to follow. The world taught us to just "make it"' until they were grown.

We were even having a hard time with that. Therefore in the summer of 1983, my husband chose to have a vasectomy. We had an elder son and then a daughter; what the world deemed as the perfect family. What more could we ask for? Our family was complete and we would have no more worry about more children coming along.

During our engagement in 1981, we attended premarital counseling with our pastor. At one of these classes he encouraged us to read the section in our book we were using as a study guide to decide how we would handle "family planning". So from the beginning of our marriage, we both felt that we were totally responsible for how many, how soon, and how close our children would be.

This idea came from the world, the church, this Christian book we were using as a study guide, and the medical profession. Never once did anyone ever suggest that we go to the Scripture and find out what God had to say, and sadly, though we were both Christians, the idea never occurred to us.

We sat in the urologist’s office talking about the planned vasectomy. I was 21, we had been married three years, and already had two babies. The two pregnancies had been hard on my body, both with premature labor, bed rest, medication, and many hospitalizations. My doctor warned us not to attempt another pregnancy, assuring me I would be on bed rest again. I was tired of being pregnant and I was overwhelmed with taking care of two children 19 months apart. We had just moved to a new state where we knew no one. I felt I had all the "stress" I could handle.

My mother worked while I was growing up so when Tom and I got married, it was only natural that I would work. How else could you obtain the American dream? Mom was always very good in administration and she climbed the ladder. When I started in banking the year before we got married, I also did very well.

I regretted my decision to go ahead with my tubal ligation the moment I awoke from the anesthetic. I had three beautiful children. The world was over-populated, so why did I feel so empty? Gradually my eyes were opened to the truth of overpopulation (not true!) and my guilt was taken away as I confessed and repented of this sin before God. He is the Creator, the Giver of life, and the One who opens and closes the womb.

I was an only child, and even as a teenager when all my friends loved babies, I couldn't see the big deal. I met John when I was 11 and he was 13. We were best friends growing up, and no one was surprised when we got married. I think what really surprised everyone was the birth of our son, Joshua, nine months and two days after our wedding. I think they all assumed that he was an "accident" but we really did want a baby as soon as we got married.

In 1987, ten months after our fifth child was born, I had a tubal ligation. We were experiencing financial difficulties and thought we couldn’t afford our present situation, let alone any more children!

Joe and I were very young, and were sure we knew what we wanted, so at the age of 17, the two of us got married. Six months after the wedding, I found myself expecting, even though I had been taking the pill for months. We were both shocked, but I got over it and settled into the idea of being a mom pretty fast.

Joe had a harder time and we both struggled through that. Nine months later I gave birth to our son, Patrick. I had a horrible time having him because I asked for an epidural and it caused me to go into respiratory distress. It was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. I had to have support breathing for over an hour. I was convinced that I was going to die. I also had the worst spinal headache afterwards that kept me bedridden for two days. Not a good start for mothering at all.