Related Articles : Pregnancy

Dear precious Above Rubies readers,

ABOVE RUBIES # 73

I was hoping to have the new magazine out to you in January. Unfortunately I had some delays, firstly with being in New Zealand for the passing away of my dear father, and also my Design Artist was delayed. At last the magazine is rolling off the presses and we will be sending it out next week.  

ABOVE RUBIES RETREATS FOR MARCH

We have a lot of Above Rubies retreats coming up this year which you will catch up on in the new magazine. Here are the ones for March in case your magazine doesn’t get to you in time.  

29 FEBRUARY  –  2 MARCH
5th Annual Alabama and Gulf Coast Ladies Retreat
Camp Baldwin in Elberta, Alabama
For details and registration form, visit the website at www.gulfcoastrubies.com
Contact: Darlene Barnett at 251-931-3309
Or Rosanne Van Cleave at 251-625-2518
Serene, Pearl and Meadow will be singing at this retreat.

14 – 16 MARCH, WASHINGTON
Ladies Retreat at Black Lake Bible Camp, Olympia
Contact Lisa Strickland at 360-297-2717
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Or Heather Bryant at 360-638-2838
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Serene and Pearl will be singing at this retreat.

28 – 30 MARCH, WISCONSIN FAMILY CAMP
10th Annual Retreat at Inspiration Center, Williams Bay
This is a retreat where families come back year after year to meet with one another again! Children can’t wait to see their friends each year. Of course new ones come too. You will love this Family Camp. Try and come if you live in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana or Michigan.
This camp looks as though it is going to be a wonderful rendezvous of Liberian children as a number of families are coming who have adopted from Liberia.
Contact Roger and Jackie Thelen at 262-723-6557
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SUPER CELL TORNADO

Serene and Sam got hit by the tornado that came through Tennessee and other states on Tuesday evening 5th February. Praise the Lord, all 15 of them are safe and well. God was very good to them. The tornado screamed right around their house flattening huge big trees on all sides, but amazingly, the house stayed in tact, apart from half the roof flying off.

My husband, Colin, and wonderful teams of volunteers were chain-sawing and clearing for a number of days.

ABOVE RUBIES # 74

Now that # 73 is in the printers, I start working on the next one. I would like some feedback on the following subjects:

OCCUPYING TODDLERS WHILE HOMESCHOOLING OLDER CHILREN
I have had requests for this topic. If you have any ideas that really work, I’d love you to share them with other readers. And on the same vain, share if you have any good ideas for keeping little ones quiet in church.

Please type OCCUPYING TODDLERS in the Subject heading.

CARING FOR OLDER PARENTS
I have printed the most beautiful t6estimony in # 73 which you receive shortly about caring for a mother-in-law. It is called Grammy and the Fridge. You will be blessed. However, I am receiving a number of requests for testimonies on this subject.

Put CARING FOR PARENTS on the Subject heading.

MOVIES

Thank you so much for all the recommended movies that you sent it. I have them all listed and am just trying to put them in alphabetical order. As soon as I have completed this, I will send them out to you. I know you will love having this list on hand.

NURSING STORIES

BEARS DO IT TOO!

I am a 53 year old mother of six grandmother of eight and we have two little foster children aged five and three.  The five year old is deaf.  My daughter-in-law was visiting last night and began to nurse her little seven month old, Lillyanne under a blanket. The five year old turned to me and asked what Aunt Candice was doing with that baby?  I explained, in sign language that she was feeding the baby from her body and that was why God gave Mommies milk in their breast.  This little girl had probably never seen or heard of such a thing!  She sort of turned up her nose and signed to me, "I saw a bear do that on TV!"  My poor daughter-in-law was laughing so hard I am sure Lillyanne got a milk shake!  
 
Tess Quarles, Washington
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SHE STILL REMEMBERS

My youngest daughter "Abigail" is 2 1/2 now and I nursed her for 17 months.  Around December she saw me getting dressed and I still had my top off.  She looked up at her half naked Mama and with her precious voice said, "That's Mama's boobies."

 "Yes" I said.  

"I drink Mama's boobies" she said.  I looked at her in absolute amazement.  It had been exactly one year since I had nursed her and I always wondered if I'd ever notice her remembering!  Wow!  It was so neat, and I hope she'll always remember those special times of bonding that we had even if not always able to remember as clearly as she did this particular morning.  

Nicole Lamp, Gainesville, Georgia
James and Nicole have three girls--Carly (8), Claire (6), and Abigail (2)
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A GOOD LAUGH
 
My 8th child had a congenital cataract and had his 1st surgery at one month old.  I was so sad about his health that I had not laughed for the entire month--and we love to laugh at our house.  After the surgery, Josh had to have a small shield taped over his eye for two weeks.  I have always slept with my little nurslings. One morning, I woke up and the little shield was no longer taped to Josh's eye, but had come off during the night and was taped to my breast!  I laughed until I cried!  
 
Sandra Griffitts
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ABOVE RUBIES SPECIALS

I recently ordered your "Be Fruitful and Multiply" book. This book is truly a work from the Lord. My husband and I are going through it together and are so blessed by it. We have four blessings so far. My husband is hoping to get up to 10 blessings.  

You are giving me a vision to teach these principles at our church and share them with friends. I am thinking I should order a larger quantity of your books so I can share it freely, while the price is low.

Amanda Wolfe

The BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY SPECIAL will finish on Monday 25th! If you wish to cash in on this HALF PRICE SPECIAL which will not be available again, you would need to do something quickly.

Do it through Paypal  through the website, www.aboverubies.org or give us a call at 1877 729 9861 to pay by credit card.

The next special starts the next day. This time we are making the DVD set, RECLAIMING GOD’S PURPOSE FOR WOMEN available with a discount of $10.00! You can receive the four DVDs for only $20.00!!!

Reclaiming your Marriage
Reclaiming your Motherhood
Reclaiming your Home
Reclaiming your Attitudes

☺Enjoy watching them personally!
☺Invite friends into your home to join with you!
☺Plan a Day Seminar in your home or church!
☺Plan a Monthly Seminar in your home or church. Play one DVD each week and enjoy a Potluck meal together as you fellowship and discuss the message on the DVD!

MIDWIFE TO BE

I have a Midwife To Be course that is by mail.
Go to www.newlifehomebirth.com  for more information.

Lisa Aman
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QF BLOG

I wanted to share what I hope to be a resource for your readers who have their own blogs on the internet.  I started a quiverful blogroll, to try and connect QF minded families on the blogosphere.  If you are interested please consider passing along the web address.
http://www.mamaarcher.com/2007/11/introducing-quiverfull-blogroll.html

Kristine Anderson
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SNUGGLED TOGETHER

We are a family of six.  We have four children ranging from 11-2.  Our only son is six.  We live in a three-bedroom trailer.  It is on nine acres so we do have some room to stretch out. I believe living in a small home has kept us all close. I get tickled because we bought bunk beds, a set for each of the children’s rooms. But our children all manage to sleep in the same room with each other every night! Even though I put them in their own space, they can’t help wanting to snuggle together.  

When we looked at bigger homes with five bedrooms the children all whined about who would sleep in the same rooms together. But when I said, “You will all have your own room,” they all replied, “No thanks.”

Robin
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THE VACANT SUPPER TABLE

I am in the middle of your Bible Study, “The Family Table and Hospitality” and I must say--WOW! We have always had supper together, prayers at the beginning and end, and sometimes with family devotions (however we now do the devotions at bedtime for the children although' your study makes a strong case for changing back to supper-time devotions). There is always much lively family discussion time, and most nights there is also discussion of a Bible topic too.    

Both my husband and I were raised with meals being eaten as a family at the table. However, I have a sister-in-law who rarely (only on special occasions) ate dinner with her parents and brothers. Her mom would make the food, keep it warm on the back of the stove, and then whenever someone was hungry, they'd help themselves, eat in the kitchen or the living room in front of the T.V. When she dated my brother, this was their regular fashion while visiting at mealtime at her parents' home.   However, prior to their marriage, my brother set down the rules they would follow for meals in their home (sit-down, devotions, and prayers).   She mentioned one time how odd she thought that was (at first) but over time has come to appreciate the stability it has given her family.     

Although we have always sat down as a family, I have noticed in my family and in my five brothers' families and my in-laws families, that there is a tendency to sort of come-apart at the seams when/if the children attend high school. It's not so challenging to eat as a family when the children are younger (especially if you're like us and homeschool your children). But if children are attending school (public or private) parents feel pressured to allow their children to participate in sports programs. Once this happens, other people then have control over your dinner table! This only gets worse as children get into high school sports and longer daily practice sessions and games away from home.   

This also revolves around the fact that too many parents give their children unlimited "sports" privileges. We have found it helpful (when our children got into high school especially) to limit the number of sports they could participate in during any one year of high school.    We'd tell them, "Two sports during the school year, and one during the summer." This was beneficial to the whole family, and thankfully, the older children usually had similar interests, so we didn't have "mixed" sports (like basketball AND wrestling) going on during the same season.  

All too often, what ends up happening is this: Mom eats with the children who are home at normal dinner time, Dad comes home a bit later perhaps and he eats alone while looking over the daily mail or newspaper. (Mom and children are probably off doing their own thing by then), the older children come home from practice (Mom or Dad runs into town to pick them up or do a carpool loop) and then pop something into the microwave.
 
Game nights are even worse as the family scrambles to quickly eat something hopefully nutritious and hopefully not swallowed whole as they hurry to get finished so they can leave home in time to get to the game). And how many times is the child-athlete either too nervous to eat, or has left directly from school without having a chance to sit down and ENJOY a decent meal? So, after the game--probably at a fast food place--is when the child-athlete gets to finally eat something filling.  
 
What makes me REALLY sad is to think of most of my nieces and nephews have been in some kind of after school "lesson" activity (dance, music, community sports) since they were in kindergarten. Most of them have also taken up a school sport as soon as it was offered in their school at around age 10. So from the time the oldest children hit fifth grade each of these families (with multiple children involved in various activities) has been scrambling to provide a decent family life. What I notice is that each mother or father will regretfully respond that it is so hard to have a decent family life. Yet NONE of them are willing to limit (severely) the amount of time their family devotes to running all over the  countryside to various musical, sporting, or other activities. They are SO worried that they will be destroying something intrinsic in their children, and never give thought to what they (parents) have allowed to become important.

It makes me so sad, to realize that in the course of my life time (I'm almost 49 now), things have so drastically tipped AWAY from encouraging family life, to encouraging individuals to function individually.  For example: where team sports were encouraged at the high school level that has slowly crept down to younger and younger children. In our school district for example, there is now a sanctioned football program for third graders! In bigger cities near us, there are YMCA flag football and soccer programs for kindergarteners!     

Don't get me wrong, I think children need to be active and healthy, and certainly these sports activities boost the health of children who would probably otherwise spend a good share of their time sitting and playing video games. I just think how sad it is that SPORTS team participation has taken over the family dinner hour.

We adopted four older foster children before having three biological children, so we have already grown children with children of their own, while still having youngsters at home. The older children had very chaotic lives before coming to live with us. I have noticed with the four older children that even though we were "religious" about our sit-down-together meals, they have ALL reverted back to the rather chaotic meal times they were raised on prior to joining our family.   

It must have seemed very much like Night and Day to them, because we  ALWAYS eat at the table (except Friday nights when we have home-made pizza and watch a video). What is sad for me to see at this point in my older children's lives (two divorced, one engaged, one newly married), is that they have mostly all reverted back to their FORMER training in their own homes now: chaotic meals, haphazardly prepared, lower quality. This makes me realize how very important it is FROM INFANCY onward, for parents to make sure that their children participate in the sit-down-meals.     

This was clearly brought home to me about 14 years ago. At that time, we had the two youngest of the four older children still at home (the older two having graduated by then, off on their own), they were about 14 and 10 years old. My oldest biological son, Sam, was nearly 23 months old (sitting at the table in a clip-on high chair) and my youngest son was just about 2 weeks old. As we sat down to supper that night, I was standing by the table, rocking the baby who was fussing. Hubby started the meal by encouraging Sam to say his little prayer (we always taught the babies to do a special table prayer). Even though he was barely able to speak in clear words at that time, he put his chubby little hands together, said his little prayer and kept his hands folded while we said our "regular" table prayer as a group. And Sam chirped in with "Amen" at the right time, too.

When my husband and I signed up for adoption, we had (wrongly) assumed
that if we got a child by say, age three or four, or even as old as six (as our youngest adopted child was at the time of her placement in our home), that there was still ample opportunity for us to train and mold and teach them everything they needed to know. Wow....were we ever naive in our thinking!!!!!!

Nancy, as I stood near the table that night when Sam so sweetly said his little dinner prayer...and my older two children also sat there so sweetly with their hands folded... I was struck by the realization of just HOW MUCH my not-quite-two-year-old son had ALREADY absorbed, learned and been influenced by the training...and he was barely able to speak!
 
And it made me sad to think of ALL that our older children had been deprived of during their baby-hood, toddler years, preschool years, early childhood and for the two oldest their pre-teen years, too because of their chaotic home situation before they were placed with our family. AND it made me realize how very MUCH learning takes place when our BABIES are still cradled in our arms, cuddled on our laps, and snuggling at our breasts!    

It is SO important for young mothers to know and realize and appreciate the extremely IMPORTANT job they have--from the very first day of a child's life outside the womb--of training and nurturing their love for the Lord.     

It is plain to see that our society blithely dismisses the importance of mothers and fathers in a young child's life. Witness the number of parents who are unwilling to sacrifice a bigger home or nice furnishings and instead claim they simply MUST have Mom's paycheck which means they place their little ones in day-care situations. I fully realize many mothers feel they have "no choice" (being single or divorced.) However, the fact that they are unmarried and have children STILL goes back to the training they received at home. If their mothers and fathers had properly trained them from infancy, unwed mothers or divorced mothers would NOT have gotten into the situation where they find they "must" work in order to survive (literally). Young women will not put themselves into a situation where they COULD get pregnant if they have been properly trained. Young women who have been properly trained to be obedient to their parents' wisdom would not consider for marriage any man who is not a God-pleasing choice.     

I once heard or read a story from Satan's point-of-view. It went something like this... Satan is advising his cohorts that since they would be unable to prevent God's word from spreading that they must find some way to keep the believers from spending time alone with God. His plan was to find ways to "fill up their time" with other things.  So he told his cohorts to tempt believers with music to fill up the ears and hours, so believers couldn't have quiet time to think Godly thoughts.  And fill their eyes with tempting pictures to keep them from reading God's Word.

I would add to that list, take the children away from them as young as possible to have the most direct influence on preventing them from becoming or remaining believers after leaving home... sports at younger and younger ages, day care, baby sitters, television and videos, twaddle-filled books and such.    

Debra Hofland
Taylor, Wisconsin

I trust this little newsletter will encourage you as you wait for your new magazine to arrive. Be watching for it.

Blessings from NANCY CAMPBELL
Founder and Editress of Above Rubies

I was pregnant with our fifth child and I began to bleed. After bleeding for two weeks I decided to go to the ER. I had hoped for an ultrasound, but they were too busy that night. They took a blood test and said my BETA numbers were 122xxx and told me to call a doctor the next day.

I called a doctor and two days later went to have more blood drawn. The next day I went back to the doctor. She told me that my numbers had dropped to 111xxx. She said this indicated a miscarriage and the need for an ultra sound. I was scared and kept praying. We went into the ultrasound room and she began to scan. We saw what looked to be a dead baby of about four to five weeks. There was no heart beat, just a dead form.

I was nine weeks at that time. She said the baby had died and gave me three options:

1. Take pills to complete the miscarriage.

2. Have a D&C.

3. Wait and let nature take its course.

I decided I would wait it out. That day ALL my bleeding stopped. Many people were very upset with me for not scheduling a D&C. They told me I could die or I could lose my uterus. I told them as long as I did not have a fever, I felt that I was fine. I felt at peace with my decision and continued to pray.

Many years ago I read an article called Protect Your Womb on the Above Rubies web site. From that point on I had started to pray for the health of my womb. This came to my mind many times during my wait. I leaned on the Lord and kept trusting.

Each day I waited for the cramping I knew would come. It never did. I was supposed to go back to the doctor after two weeks but one of my children had gotten sick. I didn’t make it back until four weeks later.

The day before I saw the doctor, I was talking to a lady at church, and told her nothing had happened and I was fearful the doctor would try to convince me to have a D&C. I really wanted to avoid that. She looked at me and said, “Do you think they were wrong? Do you think you could still be pregnant?” I had not thought of that. I saw the image on the ultrasound machine. I agreed with what the doctor had seen. At first I thought it was cruel of her to give me a small peace of hope. I couldn’t deal with my sadness and have this small hope too.

The next day I went to the doctor and the nurse asked what happened. “Nothing,” I said, “I have had no bleeding or cramping.”

“Maybe the baby is still there,” she replied. I began thinking, “No, don't put that in my mind.” The small piece of hope was there but I couldn’t let myself think of it. But what if?

The doctor came in, “So, nothing happened?” she said. I told her nothing had. She asked if I still had pregnancy symptoms. I had to think on that a moment because I hadn’t even thought of having symptoms. I had thought the baby died and that was it. But after a while I had to say, “Yes!”

“Let’s do an ultra sound,” she said. I told her there was no way for my dates to be off because I had an early positive pregnancy test and knew the date I conceived.

I lay down, barely able to breath. She scanned and exclaimed, “There is the baby's head!” She moved down a little, “I see two arms and they MOVED!” Then she saw the heartbeat! A HEARTBEAT! Can you believe it? I was shocked, thrilled and scared all at the same time. The baby was measuring 13 weeks, exactly where I was supposed to be!

As I left the office I broke down. I cried and praised the Lord, thanking Him for sparing my baby’s life. If I had chosen any other option but to wait, I would have killed my baby. I called my husband and he couldn’t believe it.

On July 14, 2005 I went in for my fifth c-section and my miracle baby was born. We named her Julianna Grace because God graciously spared her life.

After five c-sections I was curious about the shape of my uterus. I asked the doctor what my uterus looked like. He told me that it looked very good and he was surprised there was very little scar tissue after having five c-sections. I thanked the Lord. I know that my prayers for my womb had been answered.

ANNETTE WAY

Springfield, Missouri, USA

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Reese and Annette’s children are Audrey (14), Brionna (10), Amanda (7), Joseph (4), Julianna (18 months) and new baby Erica born January 2007.

Before I was married, I didn’t know much about parenting (my own family was abusive), and I knew even less about God. When our son was born, I fell in love with him instantly! Thankfully, I had read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and decided to try nursing, even though I had never seen it done before.

The only real ‘mothering’ experience I had was from babysitting a baby years ago. He had been formula-fed and was on a strict schedule, spending most of his time alone. What I remembered most about him was the awful way he would cry alone in the crib as I waited for him to fall asleep.

Soon every thought of returning to college left my mind as I held, nursed and carried my baby. I didn’t want to be away from him, and of course, he was happiest right next to me. He came everywhere with me and rarely ever left my arms. All I had to do was nurse him when he was fussy or tired and change him when he needed it. He loved to sleep with my husband and me.

When he was six weeks old I attended my first La Leche League meeting. I learned so much. I read studies that proved doing things naturally, such as breastfeeding on cue, was beneficial to both mom and baby.

I learned that carrying my baby provided him with better social development. I even learned that crib death is less common when babies sleep with their moms, and how doctors believe that the mom’s body acts as a pace-maker for her baby’s immature system. I was fascinated! I also met a wonderful Christian mom at LLL, who began planting seeds about God in my heart.

Two years later, my young son had a night where he couldn’t sleep. I sat up with him as my new baby daughter slept in bed with my husband. Suddenly I remembered a much neglected Gideon’s Bible that had been given to me years ago. The next few hours flew by as I devoured the precious words.

With my sleeping son by my side, I gave my heart to Jesus Christ. Just a few months later, my husband and I were both baptized in a local lake and started our new life together. God lovingly cared for me, His child, as I lovingly cared for my child.

Now that I knew God, the more I thought about mothering, the more excited I became. I realized the reason natural mothering works so well is because God designed it!

In the same way God designed our bodies to give birth naturally, He designed us to mother naturally. I felt like I had stumbled upon some ancient mystery, and I knew the reason behind all those happy babies and children at the LLL meetings. Whether their parents knew God or not, they were raising their babies according to His design and received the blessings for following His plan!

Isaiah 66:11-13 says, “For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the LORD says: ‘I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.’” (Emphasis added).

As a new Christian, I would sit with my new baby daughter for hours reading the Bible. I learned that God can use the Bible to teach us, not just with its words, but also by the people within its pages. As a mother, two of my favorite examples are Eve and Mary. Who better to look to as we mother our own children but “The mother of all living” and the mother of Christ himself?

God gave Eve everything she needed to do her job perfectly--breasts to nourish and comfort, arms to hold, a soft body to keep her little one warm at night, a voice to sing and teach, motherly instincts, and a loving heart. She lacked nothing.

I can envision her carrying her baby throughout the day, and the new family sleeping all curled up together at night, just as God intended. A beautiful picture of simplicity and love.

I love to think of Mary. All God does is good. He didn’t only choose a family for Jesus. He also chose a time and culture. God could have decided to send Jesus anytime, even today!

Could you see Jesus as a child in the schools today, riding the bus and playing video games? Or as a baby in His crib with a blankie, Mary hardening her heart as He “cried it out”? God had something much different in mind. He placed His son in a culture where every birth was natural, where moms kept their children close during the day, and where children nursed for years.      

Just like Eve, Mary had no clocks for feeding schedules, no bottles, no separate sleeping room for her baby, and no “experts” writing books claiming to have a better way to raise her baby. They listened to the one true Expert, our Lord Himself! I believe both mothers did what came naturally, following their God-given instincts and mothers’ hearts. They did not harden their hearts to their babies’ cries.

The Bible talks about the peacock who is deprived of wisdom and understanding because she is “hardened against her young ones, as though they were not hers.” (Job 36:13-17)

Then there is Jesus Himself. In Luke 6:31 He tells us to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” In Matthew 18:33, He said, “Shouldest not thou also have compassion on thy fellow servant, even as I had pity on thee?” Jesus wants us to put other’s needs above our own.

In Matthew 25:35-45, He says, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing... And the King will say, “I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me! And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.”

Who is the “least of these” more than a helpless baby or child? When He said to give a drink to the thirsty, certainly He includes our own baby, when he/she cries out for it.

God wants us to love our children the same way He loves us, and not forsake them in their time of helplessness. Listen to what the Bible says in Isaiah 49:15, “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!” I will have to answer to God someday about how I cared for the “least of these” in my own home when they were in need. I want to be sure I did my best for Him.   

We live in a modern world, but this neither changes God’s design nor alters God’s best. God never changes. By mothering this way, I teach my children about God. I show them every moment how God is always available for us, how He does not abandon us when we need Him.

Just as we are dependant on God, God made babies dependant on us. We should seek to live out 1 Thessalonians 2:7, “But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.”

Natural mothering is filled with all kinds of joy! I love the peace of falling asleep at night with my tiny nursing baby on one side and my husband’s strong arm wrapped around both of us. What better alarm clock in the morning, than a cooing baby who pats your cheek and squeals with delight when you open your eyes and look at him?

There is nothing like having your baby in your arms (or your sling) all day, always in your world, always learning and enjoying your closeness--and you don’t miss a smile or a laugh!

I have given birth four times so far. I admit that each time I have been very afraid of the pain as I tend to have very fast, intense births. So far, each birth I have placed my trust in something different. The first time, I trusted in man’s way which caused only pain and human intervention. All sorts of unnecessary machines and gadgets were used.

My second birth came, and this time I was sure I was prepared. I had read all the so-called “right” books, and had all the “knowledge” I needed. I was even at home--and in the water this time! Although it was a beautiful birth, it was only man’s knowledge, and the birth was still extremely painful. We need more than man’s small knowledge to birth and mother!

The third time I was again at home—and in the water. I read a book by a Christian author who said she had the right way to birth, if I would only follow her method. You guessed it. Another good but very painful birth. The baby was just over ten pounds, a lot to handle for my small frame!

As much as I wanted my fourth baby, I was afraid to go through the pain again. I turned whole-heartedly to the only place I had left. I turned to Jesus and things changed for me. I prayed more for this birth and new baby than any of the others, and depended only on Jesus. It worked!

When I heard my midwife say my baby was out, my first thought was “That was it?” It hurt, of course, but by depending on Jesus, for the first time it was completely and totally bearable and better than it had ever been before!

Like all of our homebirthed babies, he didn’t cry, and was happy, pink and alert. But unlike our other babies, this little one has not cried to this day! He has never had a tear in his eye. He is four months old now, and the most joyful baby we have ever had, full of smiles and laughs.

He has been in someone’s arms almost every single moment of his life. He baths in the big tub with me and sleeps skin-to-skin with me at night. He nurses when he needs to, and naps as I carry him through my day. We are totally connected. I have truly never been happier, nor had a happier baby!

God’s Word applies to all of life, including our mothering. We need to mother with what God gave us--love, our mother’s heart, our biology, our God-given instincts, and our baby’s signals. We need to stop listening to the many voices of the world and start listening to the only voice that matters.

God’s way is about the heart, the connectedness between moms and babies, rather than rules, so-called experts, and schedules. God’s way is about people, relationships, and love rather than outward things. Babies’ needs haven’t changed since the beginning of time, and neither has God.

AMIE GRAY    

Onalaska, Washington, USA

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Don and Amie have four children, Brodie (7), Hannah (5), Aden (2) and baby Elijah (4 months).

A woman posed this request: “I was just wondering how others decided that their family was complete and you finished having any more babies.”

After having three babies in less than four years (no twins!) I felt pretty “complete” and was not at all interested in being pregnant again any time soon. I was also in a season of struggle, fighting depression, failing in my roles as wife and mother, thoughts of suicide, life in a new area far from friends, family, or support systems, overweight and unhealthy.

I also had a list of other things that I felt were more important that I couldn’t do while pregnant or dragging infants and small children around all the time. In a way, I felt like I was compromising my health and wasting my life away by being pregnant and nursing all the time.  What about Quality vs. Quantity?

I approached the marriage bed with panic for fear of getting pregnant again. We tried barrier contraception but it caused me a lot of pain. Other methods were not an option, especially since I was still nursing and hadn’t had my return of cycles yet.  In lieu of abstinence I cried out to God for a solution, “Lord!  Please help us! What contraception should we use!?” 

He answered, “Trust Me.” That was not the answer I wanted. The last time I trusted God I got pregnant right away, and I wasn’t interested in being tricked into that again. I griped back to the Lord, “Aren’t my reasons good enough for You?”  But who am I to argue with God?  After some deliberation I decided to trust Him again and do nothing to prevent a pregnancy.

After my first two babies were born I got my cycles back when they were three months old.  Imagine my delight when five months had passed and I still wasn’t menstruating or pregnant!  My period came back at six months and seven months and I was rejoicing! 

It sure was worth it to trust the Lord!  I celebrated by taking a late Spring excursion to an amusement park to ride roller coasters all day while I still had the chance. I was supposed to get my period that day, but it never came. Two days later I took a home test and found out I was pregnant again.

I was so mad!  Shaking my fist at the Lord I yelled, "You told me to trust You, and I DID! Now look what You've done! Why do You insist on keeping me down and miserable? You are NOT the God I thought You were!"

No He wasn't! So tell me, who's problem is that?

As evil as it sounds, and as evil as it truly is, deep down inside I was half hoping for a miscarriage. I felt horrible, my life was a mess, I hated everything and everyone, I was seeing a counselor, my circumstances only got worse, and I just wanted to end it all!

But as I went along I accepted my pregnancy and dealt with it, holding on to the only shred of truth that I could: that God told me to trust Him, and I obeyed. Somehow He is going to work it out. He has to!  There’s no other hope!

As the months progressed I pondered all that I had learned but not yet accepted. It says in the Bible, "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior so are the children of one's youth. Happy is he who's quiver is full of them." I was sitting with a group of ladies one day discussing birth control--one with a vasectomized husband, no family size larger than three children. The agreement was that their quiver was full for them.

"Six children might be a full quiver for you. My fill line is at three!"

I piped up and said, "Well, if I were out in the woods when suddenly surrounded by a violent grizzly bear four times my size ready to eat me up in one gulp, I would want more than three arrows in my quiver to fight him off. In fact, I'd want as many as I could get!"

I know many older families who stopped at three children because they decided their family was complete with that many. Three beautiful young adults, all in a row, praising the Lord, standing up against abortion, encouraging youth, and doing mighty things for Jesus. If they hadn't stopped at three there could have been twice, or maybe even three times the amount of children in their family added to the Army of God.

When the next generation of children rises up to run my country and make decisions on my behalf, and on behalf of my children, grandchildren, and so on—a generation of God-less, self- indulgent, misdirected, unloved, spoiled rotten, traumatized, numb, lazy, video-gaming, immature, fatherless children with little sense of moral obligation—how many God-fearing, Christian young adults would I want to balance it out?

Should I contribute only three, stop there, and then carry on with my life of vanity and grasping for the wind? Or should I look beyond my limited, present view, and make an investment into the future of generations that will follow after me?

The Lord said: Lean not on your own understanding. Once I finally laid aside what I thought was right for me, He had opportunity to put in what was right according to Him!

Now I hug my tummy and bless the Lord for this pregnancy. I sure wasn't thanking Him the first four months! But I was obedient. And in the end I'm so thankful I didn't make the mistake of ending it all (not just my life, but the lives of future children).

In the heat of hopelessness, we make very unwise choices. They that wait on the Lord will renew their strength!

Did the United States only train up 1,000 soldiers? Or did we not become the strongest military in the world, with hundreds of thousands of able men? As a military family I see where our military is going from an insider's perspective.

Even the military is buying in to “Sangerism” by scrapping ships, shutting down military bases, selling off their military housing to private management, and even paying some servicemen to leave to downsize areas that seem too full. All this in the name of “saving money.” But the military is birth-controlling and aborting itself into weakness. And so is God's church.

After sharing my testimony with the woman who asked for personal experience, in closing I said: So that's my story about me deciding when my family was complete! Probably not exactly what you were hoping to hear. Join the club!

ANGELA SUNDARAMURTHY

  
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When I was born, my parents gave me the middle name Anandi which means joy in one of India's many languages. This name has proven to be prophetic in my life. I have always been naturally cheerful and I began to know true joy when I gave my life to Jesus Christ at age 15. I grew up with a wonderful dad and a loving and devoted mom.  

I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a wife and mother. However, I had an extreme fear of the pain of childbirth. I don't really know where I picked that up since my mom gave birth to me at home and always told me it was the best day of her life. She hoped that one day my sister and I would also have homebirths. I used to upset her by telling her I wanted to be completely knocked out when I gave birth. I was so afraid of childbirth, I even tossed around the idea of never having any birth children but only adopting..

However, as I grew in my relationship with God, my thinking began to change. I learned what the Bible had to say about children being a blessing and about God not wanting us to live in fear.

When I was 19, I traveled on a missionary trip to India where I had the privilege of serving in a orphanage and performing dramas about Jesus on the streets. I had given up dating in high school after a painful breakup and vowed to wait for God to bring the man I was to marry into my life. I had even made a list of things I wanted in a husband and prayed over it.

I wasn't looking to find him on this mission trip (romantic relationships were not allowed since we were almost all teenagers.) But three days into the trip I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this blond guy from Colorado who loved God and children as much as I did.    I also knew it was going to be a long wait since he was only 16. Wow! Two amazing years of friendship and one beautiful year of courtship later, we were married.     

During our courtship I began to research different kinds of birth control. Even though I knew I wanted to have children, I was sure I didn't want them right away.

Was I shocked when I found out that the birth control pills I had planned to take had the  potential to cause early abortions. I was pro-life; therefore these pills were no longer an option for me. When I shared my concerns with my fiancé, he was amazingly supportive. He always knew he wanted a big family as well.

We took a few classes on Natural Family Planning, but ultimately decided to trust God to plan our family. We were scolded by well meaning family who were afraid we were too young and too poor to have a baby right away. We held our ground.

Lo and behold, a year passed and no baby. We weren't too concerned about it at that point. We enjoyed our first year of marriage and I busied myself caring for babies at a  daycare. A year and 1/2 passed. I was sure I would get pregnant soon. We took Bible College classes and went on our second missionary trip to India. Two and a half years passed and still no baby!

Now, family and friends were concerned for a different reason. I politely told people, that yes, we were trying, and no, we didn't feel we were to see a doctor about it. We were simply trusting God.

I began to learn more about nutrition and we both started taking better care of ourselves. We took a job as assistant house parents at a Christian ranch for troubled teen girls. I loved living with "my girls" and home schooling them. More than ever that I wanted to be a mom.

Three years passed. Now I was starting to get a little concerned. It was during this time I had a dream I will never forget. I was holding an adorable baby I had never seen before. The baby looked me in the eyes and said (even though it should have been too young to talk) that I was soon going to have a baby named Joy.

I woke up and wrote the dream in my journal thinking it was possibly from the Lord.

I also began to pray specifically for the Lord to bless us with a baby the following September. Three and 1/2 years passed. We were two weeks away from traveling to Australia to take music classes and play in a missionary band when I found out I was pregnant!

I spent my pregnancy traveling in Australia, singing and talking about Jesus in everything from bars to schools to churches. We then came back to the States to prepare for the birth.

On August 16th, after four years of marriage, our first son was born at home! He was perfectly healthy and had lots of red hair. We named him Rivers Chairo which means rivers full of joy--Chairo is Greek for "full of joy, delight, or gladness". He is now eight months old and lives up to his name everyday! He is the joy of our lives. We are now starting the process to adopt a brother for Rivers from Liberia.

KRIYA HERZOG

Helena, Montana,  USA                                        

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My husband, Justin, and I have now been married for 13 years. We did not start out "the perfect Christian couple" in any way shape or form. I brought to our marriage my son, whom I had when I was 17 and my husband adopted him.

I decided to use Depo-Provera as my choice of birth control which caused suicidal thoughts and depression. It was a huge mistake. We both agreed to have a baby and our first was born two years later. From there it became, “pick my birth control” until God put it on my heart to have another baby. This was the process until we had our sixth.  Justin said he thought we had enough children. Six was a lot!  

We started attending a new church and learned that a cousin of Justin's also went there. In conversation one night with his wife, she told me how she had gotten her tubes tied and it was the biggest mistake of her life. She talked of living a life governed by God and having as many children as God gave you. I was blown away! I had never heard anyone say such things! Justin and I went home and talked about it and agreed that we were not living our lives to the fullest.

My next pregnancy, which came only a couple months after getting off birth control, ended at eight weeks. During my grief, the Lord encouraged me that He would restore my joy, but I did not think He could because the pain was too great. Then Alyssa was born. I looked at her and I exclaimed, "You did it! You did just as you said. You have restored my joy!" There was no stopping my faith!

When Alyssa was 11 months old I became pregnant again. I couldn't have been happier! At 12 weeks I started bleeding. The hospital staff had no idea what was going on and sent me home. I was physically and emotionally exhausted and went to bed early. Justin came in with a fire in his eyes I hadn't seen in awhile. He said he'd been praying and God told him that the enemy was trying to take our baby, but he would be okay." I slept better than I had in a long time. My husband and my God had it taken care of.

A few days later out of the blue, the name Isaiah came to my mind. It means "saved by God". Justin liked it too. I knew that was his name, but we hadn't yet see the worst.

Isaiah was born three months early at 28 weeks. I barely made it back to the hospital after being sent home only two hours earlier. It was the most painful, terrifying birth I've had. He was transferred immediately to a bigger hospital where, after several hours of waiting, a doctor told us, "He is in respiratory failure; his heart beat is over 220 beats per minute. We think he is going to die. You need to come back now."

As we approached his bedside, I first noticed that he looked gray. Thoughts flashed through my mind, “How am I going to tell the children? They barely handled it when we lost the baby. I don't know if they can handle this. I don't even know how to bury a baby. I guess we could bury him next to Grandma Great.” Then it was as if God smacked me with a 2x4. I looked at Justin, who had tears streaming down his face, and told him, "Go and tell our parents to start praying."

I started praying over this baby like I had never prayed before. Hebrews 11:1 came to my mind, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” What happened next was nothing less than a miracle. I watched our son go from gray to pink. His lifeless body began to work with the ventilator and his heartbeat slowed.

After 10 longs weeks at the NICU, while my children were passed from here to there, we came home. He was on a monitor and oxygen because of pulmonary hypertension. On December 13th, 2006 we got to call Tim (our oxygen guy!) and tell him to come get his tanks, it was nice knowing him, but hoped to never see him again under those circumstances!

As his birthday approached I began to have panic attacks as vivid accounts came rushing back to me. I threw the biggest party I could; just to have the celebration out-weigh my inner pain.

Isaiah is now 15 months old and, aside from his size, you'd never guess he was a micro-preemie. He still doesn't walk yet or even pull himself up to stand. But I know this isn't because there is something wrong, it is because he doesn't want to. He never learned to crawl, but he butt-scoots! He can go unbelievably fast. Trying to stand up and walk is just way too slow!

I look at him and can't stop thanking God for His mercy, His greatness, and His faithfulness. I would like to put together stories from others who have been through similar experiences and can testify to God’s greatness and love! I would like to put a copy of each book in every NICU so that other parents can gain hope and encouragement. If you have a story, please feel free to email me!

HEATHER POWELL

Fostoria, Ohio, USA

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Justin and Heather’s children are Britton (15), Devon (11), Trinity (10), Kilian (8), Arianna (6), Ceara (4), Alyssa (2), Isaiah (15 months) and baby due December 2007.

“Well, Mrs. Lloyd, if you are going to refuse to have an abortion, you might as well go back to class. There’s nothing we can do. The bleeding indicates you will eventually miscarry the fetus.” I ran out of the university health clinic with tears streaming down my face. My husband met me in the hall and held me for several long minutes. The year was 1985. I was only 20 years old and he, 22. We were both still in college. We had been married for less than six months, and already, we were facing the possible death of our first baby.

 Our story actually began in 1984. I was a new Christian; Mike had been a Christian since the age of eight. We were attending the same college, he  with the hopes of being drafted by a professional baseball team. When we met, we were both very independent, strong-willed people. But, even early in our relationship, we sought to make Christ the center of our lives.

Mike and I got engaged and made plans for our wedding day. Part of those preparations was deciding which kind of birth control we should use. On the first visit to my hometown OB/GYN, I was told I probably would have a very difficult time getting pregnant, because since age 13, I only had my menstrual cycle about once a year. The doctor never determined the cause of my missed periods, but recommended fertility pills in order to bring on my cycle, a necessity for getting started on the birth control medicine.

Even as a new Christian, I did not feel comfortable taking medication and tampering with my body’s chemistry. Late that night I prayed to Jesus to intervene and let me get my cycle naturally. It had been over a year, but miraculously, the next day, I started my period. My first major prayer of faith had been answered and I threw away the fertility pills.

With only a few months left before marriage, I began taking the birth control pills. I did not like the idea, but I had been so conditioned into thinking that pregnancy was something to avoid, that I saw no alternative. Our wedding day arrived and not long afterwards, Mike’s grandfather began telling us he wanted a grandson. “How dare he?” I thought. “We just got married. I’m not ready for children yet.”

The next thing I knew, I began spotting. I thought I might be pregnant, so I immediately stopped taking the Pill. I had heard that if you take birth control while you are pregnant, it could cause deformities in the baby. A pregnancy test proved negative, but I decided not to take any more of the drug. I did not like the way it made me feel and besides, hadn’t the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t get pregnant anyway?

The very next month, I conceived. I was in shock. The OB/GYN said it was probably because my body released multiple eggs when I first got off the Pill, and I most likely would never get pregnant again. Shortly after conceiving, I began to bleed heavily. My first visit to the university health clinic was when the doctor told me I should either terminate the pregnancy or face an inevitable miscarriage. No other advice. No compassion. Abortion or miscarriage.

Thankfully, even though we didn’t have health insurance at the time, my husband took me to a doctor in his hometown. He was an older gentleman, obviously pro-life, who told me to take off school for two weeks and rest in bed. He wasn’t sure if I had lost a twin or if I had an elevated chorion, but he believed I could deliver my baby full term if I was careful. Soon, the bleeding stopped.

Then at about 27 week’s gestation, I experienced a gnawing pain in my left flank. The burning, stabbing spasms came and went in waves. My nurse read my chart and feared the worst. She hooked me up to a monitor and asked me if I was in labor. How should I know? I’d never had a baby before. Eventually the spasms stopped and I was released. The rest of my pregnancy went smoothly and several months later, the Lord gave us a healthy baby boy, whom we named Michael.

After delivering Michael, I figured there was no need to try to prevent another pregnancy, as the doctor said the first one was a freak accident. Eleven months passed and, as usual, I did not experience any menstrual periods. I did, however, begin to experience morning sickness. Amazingly, without even having a monthly cycle, I was pregnant again with our second child.

Within the hour of arriving home from the hospital with our new little bundle, I was once again writhing in excruciating back pain, the same stabbing spasms I had experienced with Michael. I could not even walk down the stairs, so Mike carried me to the car and we rushed back to the hospital. This time, the cause was determined. I had a large kidney stone in my left ureter which blocked my kidney from draining. Surgery ensued and a slow recovery, but eventually I healed from both the kidney stone attack and usual postpartum pains.

It was about this time the Lord began to change my views about the whole idea of birth control. A lady gave me a book by Mary Pride called The Way Home which opened up the Scriptures to me.  I remember vividly the day in 1988 when I became convicted to surrender our ideas about “family planning” and allow God to give us children in His perfect time. I was also convinced that we should home educate the children the Lord would give us in order to nurture and train them in His ways.

 I knew my husband, however, and I knew it would take a small miracle for him to accept these “radical” ideas. Amazingly, when he came home from work that day in 1988, and I shared with him all I had been learning from the Scriptures, Mike replied simply and confidently, “Yes, I agree.” (I didn’t know that he, too, had been reading Mary Pride’s book!)  

I wish I could say that we never doubted and all was smooth sailing from that point on. There were many difficult trials ahead. In less than a year’s time, I was pregnant with our third child. With a few month’s left in the pregnancy, I developed another kidney stone that lodged in my right ureter. My kidney swelled like a balloon. The pain was unbelievable.

At the hospital, I could not even speak, only vomit and moan. I remember turning from side to side in the bed all night long pleading with God for mercy. The doctor could not remove the stone due to the pregnancy. Instead, he inserted a stent extending from my kidney to my bladder around the stone to allow partial drainage.

I lay on the couch in constant pain for the remaining months of that pregnancy with a one and a two year old running around the house. The verse that kept coming to mind was Romans 12:1, “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” Those days were real faith stretchers.

I struggled with tremendous fear about all kinds of things during this time of weakness. Most involved the idea of giving up complete control of my life and my children’s lives to God.  I was still a young Christian and was very concerned about being socially accepted. I was painfully aware that living a truly dedicated, Christ-centered life meant losing popularity with the world.

The Lord kept reminding me of the verse, “Be ye not conformed to the image of this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God,” (Romans 12:2). Slowly, the Lord changed the desires of my heart and I realized that the world’s riches paled in comparison to the spiritual and eternal rewards that God had in store for our family if only we would serve Him faithfully.

As the years have passed, the Lord has continued to bless us with a new baby about every year and a half. Although He has been gracious to give me “easy deliveries”, I have experienced at least one kidney stone attack before, during or after every pregnancy. With two of the babies, I passed over 30 stones and during my tenth pregnancy, I had a severe blockage from a stone and had to have another stent placed in my ureter.

Over 21 years, I have undergone multiple lithotripsies, ureteroscopies, cystocopies and stent placements to treat kidney stones. I have had four different urologists, an endocrinologist and a nephrologist consider my case. I have also tried natural remedies, herbs, kidney cleansing, diet changes, massage therapies, chiropractics, reflexology, anointing, fasting and much fervent prayer. All in all, I have passed over 100 stones with much pain and suffering.

Although I have had multiple tests done to determine the cause of my kidney stones over the years, all results have been inconclusive until recently. This summer, after the birth of our twelfth baby, I underwent six high-risk surgeries to remove five ureteral stones. Several were impacted in the tissue and were causing kidney blockage, dilation and damage.

During this ordeal, my urologist ordered a new set of tests from a different lab. Finally, an abnormality in my body chemistry was detected. I have a citrate deficiency and a high pH level in my urine. I am now taking a mineral supplement called Urocit-K which has proven to get my citrate levels back in check. We are praying this treatment will prevent further problems.

Whether I am cured from kidney stone trouble is yet to be seen. Nonetheless, I have come to accept my kidney stones as simply “thorns in the flesh” which the Lord uses to keep me dependent on His strength, not my own. I know in my heart that the painful testing periods over the last two decades have developed my faith and perseverance.

God tells us in James 1:3-6, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

I have also learned that whether it is a physical, mental, spiritual, financial, or marital problem that our family faces, the Lord is faithful to solve it if we humble ourselves, pray, search the Scriptures and submit our wills to Him.

Whenever I am at “my wits end,” I know that it is only because I am trying to control a situation in my own strength and not relying on God’s wisdom and power. The words of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths,” give us comfort when Satan’s hurls his attacks. We praise the Lord for His mercy and grace and give Him all the glory for the work He is accomplishing in us.

SUE LLOYD

Moore, South Carolina, USA

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God has blessed Mike and Sue with 12 children--Michael, Jr.(20), Mary Beth (19), Mandy (18), Isaac (16), Abby (14), Matt (12), Becky (11), Timmy (8), Sarah (7), Sam (4), Anne (3) and Chloe (1).

Month after month I sobbed on the bathroom floor. “Why, why, why?” was all I could ask. I poured out my heart to God, begging Him for answers that only He could give. I pleaded and wailed, made bargains and asked questions. There were no answers, no revelations from God…only quietness.

I had just started my cycle, as I had like clockwork for the past eleven years. My husband held me as I cried. He had no answers either.

Everything reminded me that I could not conceive. I would go to the store and see only bubbly infants cooing to their mommas. Maternity clothes beckoned at me from the racks, knowing that I could not buy them again this month. The infant section was not an area I could go into without crying. I skipped the diaper and baby food isles at the grocery store.

It was no easier at church. Most of my friends and family members were expecting. People made suggestions and comments that broke my heart and sent me spiraling into a dark depression.  “Just let go and let God…give it to Him.”  “Why don’t you adopt?” “You should be thankful for the two children you already have instead of fretting over the ones you can’t have.”

Why didn’t anyone care about me and the hurt I was feeling? Why couldn’t they be a bit more sensitive with their words? Why wasn’t anyone reaching out to me? I was allowing my inability to conceive to rule my life and emotions, affecting all the relationships around me. Sadly, this infertility was a product of my own doing, which only added to my depression.

I fell in “love” in 1991 with a cute boy in my class, Joel. Not long after we started dating I became pregnant. Devastated, we considered abortion. After a series of miraculous events I was not able to abort this baby. I delivered Dakota in October 1992, got married February 1995 and later gave birth to Kennedy in November 1995. Both these children were born before I was 19 years old.

I had never planned on having children. I started college part time and began seeking employment. My husband joined the military and we moved overseas. Because the military was paying for it and others recommended it, we joined the ranks of many who cut off their fertility willingly by having a vasectomy. That was 1996. I enjoyed the freedom the sterilization offered us by not having to worry about an “accident” each month. My husband and I were just 19 years old at the time.     

Several years later, we moved back to the United States. A neighbor invited us to a drama at her church. We attended and, that night, both my husband and I gave our lives to the Lord Jesus Christ. We promptly found a church and began serving in any capacity we could.

I began to long for more children. I begged the Lord for a miracle. I pleaded with God, reminding Him that we had no knowledge of Him when we had the vasectomy, so why should we be held accountable for something we did in such ignorance? I cried and looked for answers to my problem. I soon heard of a procedure that reversed the vasectomy resulting in restoring fertility to a couple. I was elated! I begged my husband to check into it. He did. The base where we were stationed did reversals. Praise God! My husband had the necessary medical appointments and put his name on the waiting list.

Months later, after waiting what seemed to be an eternity, we checked with the hospital to see where we were on the list. A mistake had taken place and we were never on the list in the first place. Crushed, I asked my husband to start over, but he had received orders sending us back overseas.    

God worked mightily. In 2002, Joel was able to have the reversal done in a military hospital in Europe. Each detail was orchestrated by God alone. This reversal gave me hope. I was sure we would be expecting a baby shortly.  How could we not after such a moving of the Lord on our behalf? I bought an armload of maternity clothes, knowing I would need them soon.

Month after month went by with no positive pregnancy tests. My heart plummeted into depression. Wasn’t I being obedient? If so, why wasn’t God blessing? Where was this baby I was sure we would have? Why wasn’t God answering my prayers? I reached out to other women who were suffering with infertility. I found comfort in knowing I was not alone, but none of us could really give the other what we so desired--a baby.

My husband had testing done. We discovered that the reversal was unsuccessful and we would not be able to conceive. I still prayed and asked the Lord to change the outcome. Almost four years went by as I charted temperatures, using ovulation predictor kits--and praying. Months went by. They turned into years.

In the beginning of 2006, upon returning to the United States, we decided to have the reversal done again. Once again I felt hopeful. Six months flew by and we still had not conceived. This time I started to feel peace in whatever the Lord was doing in our lives. I began to see the two children I had as blessings and slowly began letting go of the dream I had for more children. I realized that I needed to adjust my desires to God’s desires, rather than manipulating Him into letting me have my way. Sure, I still wanted to get pregnant, but I was willing to give up what I wanted and embrace what God wanted, which was much better anyway.

Slowly, my heart turned towards the subject of adoption. This was not an option for me before. My husband and children were ready to adopt, but I was holding back, hoping against hope that I could get pregnant. I began reading stories of families who adopted successfully. Ever so quietly, God prepared my heart to accept another woman’s child as my own.

My husband and I called an adoption counselor and began the process. Homestudy, applications, profiles--they filled my world for a short period of time. I had gone from being disinterested in the adoption process to wholeheartedly excited and ready to bring a baby into our home!

All I could think of was the baby God would bless us with through adoption. Three months almost to the day, after meeting our adoption counselor, we brought Isabella into our lives. I was at the hospital the day she was born. I met her birthmother and thanked her for choosing to give life and blessing me with her child. I assured her that Isabella would be taken care of and loved. The birthmother held onto the sweet little bundle for a time and then asked me if I would like to hold her. My heart skipped a beat. I accepted the little girl into my arms and my heart. Two days later, Isabella was released from the hospital to me.

As I look at my precious daughter, I realize this was the baby that I spent years praying for. This was the child God had in mind for me. I can thank and praise God for my years of infertility, for without them I would not have adopted this sweet child. Infertility has allowed me the chance to see God working in my life. As the song says, how can I know God can solve my problems if I never have them? I have witnessed Romans 8:28 in action, seeing God work good from all things, including my mistakes.

Do I still hope to conceive another child? Of course I do. However, I have decided to embrace the gifts God gives me, even if they are not wrapped and delivered in the manner I want them to be.

JESSICA DECKER

Sanford, North Carolina, USA

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Joel and Jessica’s children are Dakota, Kennedy and Isabella.