My husband and I sought the Lord, cried, prayed and wondered what we should do now. Should we continue to trust the Lord with our family planning? We sought counsel. One quiver.full minded pastor said there was grace for circumstances like this and that if we did something "permanent" it was O.K. We did not feel at peace about this. The thought that kept running through my mind was, "Now is when you decide if you have conviction or preference." If God truly led us through His word and we and developed a conviction, could it be changed due to unforeseen circumstances. ? After about six months, my husband and I came to a peace and left our family planning in the Lords hands. We had entered a season of abstinence up until this time.

I conceived our next child and I will have to admit, initially, I was overcome with fear. In fact, after the positive pregnancy test, I planned my funeral! I was fearful of going back to the same Doctor, as I knew I was going to face a lecture. But, I felt she knew my circumstances and would be the most confident to take my case. When I walked in for my first pre-natal visit, she was stunned, but supportive. She does not believe in abortion that was in my favor. She said that a repeat section at least 10 days early was absolutely vital, that I must avoid labor at all cost. The pregnancy went fine and I had a real peace from the Lord during this time. I could have never foreseen what was to happen. I will never doubt again that the Lord's timing is perfect.

Our little girl was scheduled to be born on October 16, her due date being the 26th. On October 12, our 3rd child woke up with a severe headache, losing sight and body functions. I called 911. They came and his blood pressure was beyond measurement. This had to do with his original birth defect but was totally unexpected. He was also, diagnosed with stomach cancer in at the age of 5. . He had surgery to remove the tumor but there was no cure. We came home and used alternative medicine and He was doing really well. So, when this happened we were shocked. He was airlifted to Children's hospital and stabilized. He was talking to us periodically and resting. Later, he was overmedicated and went into a coma. We had to make the decision to remove life support on October 14. We actually prayed that God would raise Him from the dead, but He was raised in glory. Our hearts were broken. We were now facing memorial service and a birth of a child in the same week. I did not think I could do it, so we postponed the cesarean section to October 21. We had the memorial service for our son on October 18. We celebrated his life and our life in Jesus. Oh, we were learning in greater measure the importance of Persevering faith!!

I awoke on October 21 at 4:00 AM in labor. I called the Doctor. The section was not scheduled until 12:00, but since it was vital, as stated earlier that I not labor, I immediately went in and a section was performed by 7:30 AM. A healthy little girl was born. My uterus was in good shape, no sign of rupture whatsoever. Who could have imagined that one could even survive such dyer circumstances. But, this is what walking with Jesus is all about. He is with us, to uphold us with His righteous right hand. I do not know the ends and outs of all His workings. I do not even try any more. My only goal is to know Him more through everything we go through.